Q Dear Auntie Pearl, ek weet’ie wat om te doen nie.
Give me some of your wisdom, please. As an older auntie, I would rather listen to you than to the nonsense my friends have tuned me.
Here’s the thing: I am in high school and I think there is this boy who likes me.
But the ou just does not make a move to ask me out.
My squad has told me that I am intimidating, but I actually feel like a dork most of the time.
This is not the first time this has happened.
There was a boy last year and I really wanted to be his bae, but nothing ever happened and later I heard he smaaked me, but was too shy to ask me out.
Auntie, nou wonder ek, how can I tell if a guy wants to ask me out?
I’m not skaam, so I don’t mind chising and doing some of the asking out myself.
I just don’t want to embarrass myself.
Are there some signs that I can scope out to see if a boy is interested in me in that way, and not just to be friends?
A Lekker vir jou, Debbie! Talk about a lady who’s not afraid to take control of a situation. Jy is ’n girl so na aan Auntie se hart.
You mos know, child, in the old days it was unheard of for a girl to ask out a boy.
Die mense was mos maar ou skool, and not in the cool way.
Now Auntie is not going to lecture you on teenage relationships and staying safe, you sound like a girl with a kop op haar skouers, so wees wys.
Auntie is happy to tell you there are indeed some signs to look out for to see if a berk smaaks you.
- He checks in on you:
If a guy is connecting with you often in a casual way, there’s definitely some interest.
He is probably just a bietjie scared and waiting for the right time to make a move.
To know whether it’s more than friendship, take note if you two have “inside jokes”, things only you two know and laugh about.
This is a clear sign that he is into you.
- He finds a way to talk to you:
If he is constantly contacting you out of the blue, or with something totally random, the game is on!
People who reach out to you and sommer make geselsies want to connect with you.
Or as you kids do these days – send links, quotes, GIF’s or emojis and all those kinds of dinge directly to you and not in a group chat.
He clearly wants you to think of him and not in the friend zone kind of way.
- He finds a way to spend time with you:
Even if it’s not a romantic date, if they try to be with you in a lot of little ways, then they probably have a crush on you.
It’s not a coincidence if he sommer starts liking the sports or hang out places you do.
- He suddenly becomes friends with your close friends:
A guy won’t just ditch his crew to start hanging out with a new group.
But if you have been getting a vibe from him, and suddenly he is nice with your friends, dan is daar iets aan die gang.
If a guy makes friends with your friends, and he suddenly starts popping up where they are hanging out, he is probably there for you.
- He supports you:
If someone is willing to be there for you emotionally, then they probably have feelings for you that run a bietjie deeper below the surface.
Of course, friends can also support each other, but usually the outreach comes from the person who needs the support.
If a guy is actually asking you if you need something when you seem sad or stressed, and offers an ear to listen, or a shoulder to cry on, he’s not just a kwaai ou, he has a true interest in you.
But how do you move past the friend zone once you know your crush likes you?
You have three options:
- The first is get your best friend to drop some serious hints to this guy.
- Secondly, since you are not shy, throw some hints his way yourself.
- Some guys like feeling that they have won you over, and so they like to do the asking out. So tell him if he asks you out, you are more than likely to say yes.
- And lastly, just do it yourself, Debbie. Life is short girl, no point in wasting time.
So go ahead and ask him on a date.
The worst that can happen is he says no. At least that way you will know what he really feels about you.