Q Jinne Auntie, I have a moerse problem.
My best friend, a married man, is the one who I’m crazy about, but there’s a twist in the tale.
We’ve been sneaking around, having our own fling for a year now.
Him and his vrou have this strange understanding about jolling around, but that’s their business.
The thing is, this man doesn’t know that I’ve fallen head over heels for him, and I’m almost certain he doesn’t feel the same about me.
I just want him to be happy, and if that means his happiness before mine, I’m OK with that.
My heart has never felt this pure, not even when I was a married woman. I believe he loves his wife, and if he wants to stay married, I’m all for it.
But this woman of his… hayibo! She belittles him in front of their friends, it’s embarrassing. Rolling her eyes, tuning him, cutting him down – it’s no picnic to see.
What is also weird, Auntie, is that when she’s not badmouthing him, we can kuier lekker.
Other friends also see this and they’re also not pleased.
So I’m in a pickle now, what do I do? I shouldn’t really care, it’s not my marriage, right? Should I confront her? Should I tell him he deserves better? Is there another way around this? With love in the mix, I can’t think straight, I need your advice.
A Shame, my dearie, you really are caught in a tough spot.
Firstly, jy moet weet that it’s OK to love, but it’s another thing to love someone else’s husband.
This life of yours is not a soapie, my skat, and you don’t want to be the villain, now do you?
body.copy.three...: Auntie doesn’t even know what to say about this “understanding” they have about jolling.
That just sounds like big trouble. Cheating and affairs always end up in a mess.
Let Auntie just get this straight, you say that the sleeping around maniere is “their business”, but you want to get into the business of how she is treating him? Goodness, this is definitely going to get messy.
And while Auntie would prefer not to touch this situation with a 10-foot pole, we are in it now… so let’s wade through the popo.
About his wife, it does sound like she’s not treating him well, but remember, you’re seeing their relationship from the outside, even if you are close to both of them.
You may be seeing things through the lens of your own feelings for him. It’s also possible that they have a dynamic that works for them, even if it doesn’t seem healthy to you.
As for what to do next, it’s a tough call, because you’re so emotionally invested.
But let’s keep it straight – it’s his marriage, and ultimately it’s up to him to address any issues with his wife.
If you really care about him as a friend, let him sort out his own marriage problems.
Auntie also wants you to stop the jolling! Never mind if they have some versinde arrangement about jolling, you mos don’t want to be involved in anything like that?!
Distance yourself, get some perspective, maybe even some counselling.
Hartjie, you deserve to be in a relationship where you are loved and respected, and the only woman. Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate what you really want for yourself and to choose your own happiness over someone else’s.