Q Dear Auntie Pearl, I just want to tell you I am feeling amazing in my life at the moment. I have met a kwaai guy, and we have been dating for three months. 

He is so nice and romantic, I really smaak him.

But as you might have guessed, since I am emailing you, there is a problem. 

You see Auntie, I have also been with another guy for the past two years. This guy is married, but he doesn't love his wife.

I don’t know what to do, because if I choose my new, single guy, I’m afraid I’ll lose my married man. He has been good to me the past years.

From SW

A Excuse me, what absolute nonsense is this? Het jy jou kop backwards aangeskroef? You are looking for stront by being involved with a married man.

For a start, you have now been jolling with this guy for two years, and despite him apparently “not loving his wife” he has not left her. 

Are you blind girl? He is just using you as a vrystuk!

In this scenario, you are “die ander vrou”, a getijie, a homewrecker. How would you like it if you found out that this new boyfriend of yours has been and still is sleeping around with another girl?

Nee wat, it’s time to stop your vuil maniere and get rid of this married man. 

Don’t be so scared of committing to a nice guy like your new berk. This is an outjie who actually wants you in his life, not share you like some leftover dite.

Auntie knows it can be scary to let go of a two-year relationship, but the truth is it never really was a relationship, it is an affair. 

So go tell that married cheater goodbye, and start a fresh relationship with someone who does not have a ring on his finger.