Q Hey Auntie, I’m 30 and have been hitched to my man for five years.
We’ve got a little three-year-old laaitie and our life is pretty great. But I’ve got a problem and it’s all on me.
A few weeks back I hooked up with one of my hubby’s friends and it is a total gemors.
I was going through a midlife crisis about turning 30 years old, and this dude was giving me some attention and it just happened.
I feel pretty stupid about it and I haven’t told my husband because I don’t want to hurt him for something I did that was just for my own ego.
But Auntie, this is not the worst… the thing is, now my period is late and I don’t know if I’m pregnant or not. And if I am, I don’t know if it’s my husband’s or the other guy’s.
Wat maak ek nou?
Do I get an abortion and keep it a secret from my husband? That seems like the right punishment for me.
Do I have the baby and pretend it’s my husband’s? My husband and the other guy look similar, so the baby wouldn’t give away who the real dad is.
Or can I ask the guy if he’s had a vasectomy? I don’t really want to involve him in this mess, so if he has been snipped, then the baby’s probably my husband’s.
I’m worried and I don’t know what to do. Please, Auntie, share some advice.
From “Cindy”
A Ag no man, Cindy, don’t come talk popo to Auntie with your “I had a midlife crisis” gedagtes about why you cheated on your husband.
There’s no excuse to be a joller. Especially when life is apparently “pretty great”, and you have a three-year-old child. Swak! Sies!
Now you are blerrie versin if you think Auntie is going to be sympathetic, but that’s neither here nor there.
You are still in deep moeilikheid, so Auntie is going to put judgement aside and try to help you sort out this mess.
First of all, let’s talk about your so-called midlife crisis.
Turning 30 is a big deal for some mense, but it sounds like you really let it get into your head and made a moerse mistake.
Is there something in your “pretty great” life that is actually causing you grief? Because what other explanation could there be for your arrige behaviour to jump in bed with another man?
What Auntie thinks you should do is to sit and think real hard about what is going on in your life and marriage that could have caused you to flip out.
As for your situation of being knocked up… let’s weigh the options:
Secret abortion: If you’re looking for “punishment”, Auntie suggests doing volunteer work or something that actually helps someone instead of punishing yourself. And as for keeping an abortion a secret – secrets have a way of getting out and causing even more problems.
Pretend it’s your husband’s baby: Meisie, pretending everything is kwaai while knowing there is a dark truth is going to mess up your mental health. And again, someday the real story will come out and it’ll be even more of a mess.
Ask the other guy about his vasectomy: Are you kidding me? Just how do you think that conversation is going to go? He’s mos gonna get suspicious and before you know it he’ll know about your pregnancy, and then it’s koebaai with your secret.
The best thing you can do is to be an adult – talk to your husband and be honest with him. He deserves to know what’s going on and you deserve to be able to try and move past this.