Q Hi Auntie, my ex-bestie is really giving me a tough time!
We had a fallout at the end of last year and since then, he’s been talking k@k about me behind my back.
But here’s the thing, sometimes he’s all friendly with me and we hang out together. It’s just so confusing!
To make matters worse, we’re in the same classes at school, so it’s hard to avoid him.
Because our surnames are close, we even have to sit next to each other in some classes.
Auntie, I’m starting to get paranoid about going to school, in case he starts talking about me again.
He’ll talk about me right in front of me, which makes me feel really small and upset. I’ve come close to fighting with him, but nothing ever came of it.
Sometimes I can’t tell if he’s just messing around or not. What do you think I should do? It’s a really bad situation and I hate being in it.
From Jamina, 16
A Meisie, Auntie mos knows how tough it is to be a teenager. Friendships and relationships at your age can feel like really hard work.
In fact, being a teenager is actually a hard job… you have to learn how to be an adult.
This means you have to pick up some skills along the way, like how to get along with mense. And daai’s not always easy!
Now, some young people like your ex-friend may play emotional games and mess around with other people’s feelings, but that doesn’t always mean it’s personal.
Remember, your ex-bestie is also going through this same phase in his life. Maybe he treats other mense just as swak, and it’s just his way of coping with the world.
Now Auntie’s not saying it’s OK; in fact, he sounds like he needs to be taught manners.
Auntie thinks you should try talking to this guy and let him know how you feel – maybe he doesn’t even realise how much he is hurting you.
It would also be a good idea to talk to your guidance counsellor at school if you can.
It does sound like most of your troubles are at school, so why not get some support from someone who is actually there...
Of course, you can also turn to your parents. Not to have them solve the problem for you, but rather to support you and boost your confidence and self-esteem.
Auntie knows it feels like this tough time is messing up your life and it seems like you will be unhappy forever, but trust Auntie when I say that it’s part of life and that you will learn a lesson from this.