I love a good conspiracy theory as much as the next guy, but I’ve never had the opportunity to start one of my own.
I think I have finally found one that has just enough of a ring of possible truth to it, for it to carry across the internet.
And since the subject of my theory has made a habit of blurring the lines between half-truths and blatant lies, I reckon this could be as true as any of the lies he has been peddling.
Also, since Donald Trump insisted on questioning the birthplace of his predecessor, I reckon it’s only fair we do the same to him.
As some of you may know, I am a hopeless technophile.
I spend an unhealthy amount of my free time researching technology and dreaming about all the technological possibilities in our future.
Last week I researched a topic that has been fascinating me for the past two years; the race to establish a human colony on Mars.
Between our favourite geeky expat Elon Musk, a crazy global Dutch search for people to permanently move to the Red Planet as part of a reality TV show, and NASA, there is almost certainly going to be an attempt made in the next five to 10 years.
The exciting reality of exploring our solar system has started an unexpected conversation about how humans could evolve after a few generations of living on a planet as uninviting and inhospitable as Mars.
It has very low gravity, virtually no pressure, extreme weather, very low natural light and it’s very thin atmosphere lets through loads of harmful cosmic radiation, which damages our DNA and causes cancer.
Over hundreds of years, the bodies of human Martians may mutate to survive in these conditions; which brings me to the Trump question.
An evolutionary biologist says one of the genetic mutations could involve our melanin, which is responsible for our skin colour.
And here’s the kicker - our future Martian cousins won’t be near the colour green depicted in old science fiction stories.
If anything, they are more likely to have an orange skin tone.
Can you see where I’m going with this?
How else does one explain a man particularly gifted at human manipulation, shows a lack of human empathy, a disregard for human truths, is socially inept and sports a suspicious orange hue?
Donald Trump being a Martian suddenly makes a lot of sense, doesn’t it?!