Q Hi Auntie, you have got a help a girl out here, my berk is a vark! And I’m not talking about him treating me swak or anything like that, I mean he is messy and dirty.
We have been bymekaar for about a year and a half. It’s pretty serious and we even have plans to move in together in a few months. My only issue is that he is morsig.
He does not clean up where he messes, so there are crumbs everywhere, pieces of food all over, and even in the bathroom, the sink is always full of his hair when he shaves.
He also does not make his bed properly, he just sort of pulls the duvet and blankets a bit.
Now Auntie, I’m not some neat freak but how can I live in a house with dirty dishes standing around all the time, clothes just dumped in a corner, cupboard doors left open all the time, hair everywhere, etc?
I’ve touched on this with my berk, and he said something along the line that he once read that intelligent people are often messy because their minds are distracted by important things.
I don’t know, he’s not some science genius and even that does not excuse you from being so nasty! What do I do, how can we live together? Am I just going to have to clean up for the rest of my life?
A Ag no sies! If there is one thing Auntie can’t stand, it’s a dirty house. And a person who does not clean up after themselves? Hayibo!
Don’t come talk nonsense by saying it’s “intelligent” people who are messy. Do you think we are dom? Jou kop raas as jy dink ons glo daai rubbish! You are just plain lazy and filthy.
Auntie doesn’t like it at all that he is making excuses for his vuilgeit, rather than working on changing his nasty habits.
Because that’s exactly what he needs to do: stop talking twak and start cleaning up!
If you’ve tried to address this and haven’t gotten anywhere, Auntie sees groot moeilikheid in your future.
You are quite right to worry about moving in together, because yes, you are going to end up cleaning up after him all the time. It would be a miracle if your relationship survives it.
You need to take his dirty habits seriously and reconsider whether you’re ready to move in together.
If he shows no interest in changing something that is obviously a problem for you, it’s time to take out the trash, if you know what Auntie is saying…