Q Dear Auntie Pearl, mense will probably think I’m a sissie, but here goes.
I got dumped by my girlfriend. We were going to move in together and everything.
And then she dumped me by sending a message.
I was at work when I got the WhatsApp message.
We’ve bought the curtains and we’ve already unpacked boxes, my mom gave me some of my ouma’s things and now I lost the deposit I saved for and put down on the place and I had to move back in with my parents.
I’m 28 years old. This is horrible.
She’s back with her ex and I see their Facebook photos because I’m friends with him.
Apparently she’s telling mense she made a mistake to be with me.
I feel so stupid and sad. What do I do now?
A Shame sweetness, getting dumped is bad enough, but getting dumped via a bleddie WhatsApp message is rof, my bru.
Now you have a broken heart, a bruised ego, no goose and you are platsak.
But you know what you do have, sweetie pie?
You have integrity, a kind heart, morals, values, love in your heart, good manners, a roof over your head and a family who clearly supports you no matter what.
And that my sweetie, will take you very far and is worth far more than even Kanye West’s lelike new skoene.
It’s truth time hartjie – this girl was clearly not right for you, and she played you. It is what it is. Auntie draai nie stokkies om nie. Auntie roep hom soos Auntie hom sien.
And honestly, do you really want to be with someone who broke up with you in a message? No man, that’s not kwaai at all. That mos tells you a lot about the person.
All Auntie can say is, good riddance to bad rubbish.
Delete her from your phone, delete her and her berk from your social media, and soema delete them from your life.
Get mad, scream and shout, get it all out of your system and then you look yourself in the mirror and say, ‘I am better than this’, and start taking back your life!
It was a mistake, you’ve learnt from it, and now you have to start moving on.
Q Dear Auntie Pearl, I am constantly tired and stressed and I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. Any advice?
A Sjoe hartjie, you don’t give Auntie a whole lot to work with here nuh – Auntie’s guessing you’re not one for many words...
After the year we’ve had so far, it’s no wonder many of us are feeling burnt out and gatvol, onse tenke is leeg.
Now angel, remember, Auntie’s no doctor nuh, and you didn’t give Auntie much personal information to work with here.
So, working with the basics, I’m guessing you might be dealing with chronic fatigue syndrome.
Chronic watse goed? Vra jy.
Some medical experts say chronic fatigue syndrome is more common in women, that the cause of this condition is unknown, and that there is no cure or even real treatment.
Others sing a different tune.
If you want a proper diagnosis, you will have to see a medical professional.
Your tiredness might even be a symptom of a different, underlying illness, like anaemia, which can be treated with iron supplements.
But for now, let’s look at chronic fatigue syndrome.
This is also called ‘burn out’ en in Afrikaans sê ons sommer, “jy’s uitgebrand”.
Burn out is defined as where for a period of six months or longer, you feel extremely moeg and sleep, while copious amounts of coffee and energy drinks just won’t fix it.
It can happen all of a sudden or creep up on you over time, either way, dit issie lekker nie.
Do you have a large workload or stressful job?
Do you have extreme life stresses about relationships, money, health issues?
Are you dealing with big personal or emotional issues, a divorce, a sick child?
All this can lead to burn out.
Here are the classic signs of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome:
- You feel extremely exhausted all the time.
- You have no interest in sex.
- You are struggling to have bowel movements.
- You develop bad skin and pimple outbreaks.
- You keep forgetting things.
- You’ve picked up a few kilos and getting
- You are losing more hair than usual.
To help yourself, you need to tackle the root of the problem.
Work out whatever it is that is stressing you out (eg. work, divorce, unemployment, illness) and start fixing it.
Exercising will also help to boost your mood, start with something gentle like walking, swimming or yoga.
If your problems seem too much to handle, you will need to see a doctor, who might prescribe medication and also refer you to a counsellor.
Just because 2020 is a k** one for most, doesn’t mean it has to be a k** one for you.