Dear Pearl, I have a boyfriend who I have been bymekaar with for three years. The problem is he does not seem to want a real relationship.
I see him every weekend, and then we spend most of the time between the sheets, if you know what I mean. But other than that, we don't do anything else.
Auntie, do you see a future for us?
From Tammy.
A
Nee magtag Tammy, open your eyes! There’s no happy ending to this situation.
It’s mos as clear as daylight that this man is only using you for sex.
You are literally his “weekend special”, and not in a good way.
Auntie has seen men like these before – they use a girl to satisfy their needs without ever committing, and when they get bored or get a new stukkie, they gooi ‘n lange and you never see or hear from them again.
Hayibo girl, you should not just be a mattress for this man.
There is of course the possibility that he just doesn’t know what a proper relationship is, or maybe he had a bad break-up in the past and now he is scared of getting hurt again.
Either way, you have to put your foot down and tune him you want to talk about the future and your relationship.
You don’t have to be onbeskof about it, tell him honestly that you have enjoyed the time with him, but that you cannot keep on being just his plaything.
Tell him you need a commitment, a real relationship, going out to the movies, spending time with family and friends, and that you two need to see each other outside the weekend (and outside of bed).
Auntie is sure he’ll be quick to make things clear for you, because he’s either going to be happy to take things to the next level, or he is going to make a bunch of vrot excuses and bounce.
He will dream up reasons why is he not able to see you more and why he can only come around for a stukkie on the weekends.
Just don’t fall for any flou stories.
Good luck. Auntie hopes he is able to give you the relationship you want.