Q
Dear Auntie Pearl, I really wish I knew if my girlfriend is cheating on me or not.
I am 21 years old and she is 23, and we’ve been together on and off for almost a year now.
She is still with me and we haven’t broken up in a while, and she spends time with me and says she likes me lots, but then she is getting new clothes and jewellery all the time from this older guy.
I can’t buy it for her because I study and work and don’t have lots of money.
She says she is not cheating on me, but why is this man buying her things?
He looks like he has so much money.
Could she be sleeping with him?
From Worried.
A
Oh my word hartjie , yes, you should be worried!
Genade tog my boy, sit back, buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy ride as Auntie tunes you some truths today.
You sound like such a sweet outjie, and Auntie doesn’t mean to be lelik nuh, but this girlfriend of yours sure sounds like a piece of work.
Dit klink vir my like this girlie is playing you with everything she’s got.
Now maybe she just has a very nice older male friend who smaaks to buy her pretty things, but maybe she’s got herself a blesser.
That Auntie can’t and won’t know for sure.
That’s where you will have to ask her and demand the truth - otherwise, your relationship is mos built on a lie, angel.
Auntie can make all sorts of assumptions from the short letter and bits of information you’ve provided, but the best would be to have an open and honest talk with your girlfriend about her actions, this other man and the future of your relationship.
Now Worried, do you know what a blesser is?
No? Well then sorry nuh, but Auntie has some bad news for you.
For those who do not know, a blesser is like a sugar daddy, but with much more money involved.
Basically, a blesser gives a hot, younger woman loads of kroon, klere, cellphones, jewellery, and sometimes, if he’s very rich, even a car and flat, and overseas holidays and shopping trips.
And why would he do this, you ask? Because she gives him her body and her time.
So yes, boeta, sorry to say, but the chances are good that your meisie i s cheating on you.
Most of the times a blesser relationship is purely physical and it’s all about giving sex and getting material things in return, so this meisie is probably staying with you for emotional support and to feel loved and valued on an emotional level.
You sound like such a sweet outjie but a bietjie lig in die broek en nat agter die ore, but it’s time to grow up, and see this girl for what she is - she is using you, and wants her bread buttered on both sides with jam, nogal.
Honestly, this blesser business is a disgusting trend that is increasing in our society, and it just causes hurt and pain.
Also, these girls don’t seem to be thinking about their future - meisie, your looks won’t last forever.
Soon this older man will replace you with an even younger model and where will that leave you?
Sort this out, Worried, before it goes on for another year - she needs to tell you where you stand and what is what.