Q
Dear Auntie Pearl, our family is going away for the long weekend, but there’s trouble brewing.
A week ago my wife and I had a moerse fight.
In fact, we have been sukkeling for months to see eye to eye.
We have two kids, eight and five years old, and we’ve been together for 12 years.
To be honest, we’ve been drifting apart for a couple of years now.
We often have fights, we barely share a bed, and we even hang out with different friends.
This is also where things get worse.
I found out she sometimes goes out alone with a guy.
He is divorced and the father of a kid at my girl’s school.
I confronted my wife and asked if she was jolling, but she got angry and told me to voetsek because I don’t know what I’m talking about.
But she never actually denied she was cheating.
Now we barely look at each other.
What are we supposed to do on our holiday?
Our laaities are coming along, but I cannot stand the sight of her.
We mos can’t have a showdown in front of the kids.
From Steve.
A
Listen Steve, Auntie is going to be straight – it really seems like your marriage is over and you are clinging onto something that no longer exists.
But let’s deal with your long weekend problem first.
I suggest one of you make an excuse and drop out, and have the other go on the trip with a relative or good friend instead.
Your only other option is to ruk jouself reg, act like grown-ups, and keep it together for a few days while on holiday.
Stay calm, and keep skellery for when you are back home and not with the kids.
Not that Auntie is saying you must get onbeskof with each other, but if you want to act vieslik, at least don’t do it in public or in front of the kids.
It won’t be easy, so if you think you won’t be able to keep your mouths shut, rather cancel the whole trip.
You don’t want to leave your kids with ugly memories.
You can’t keep postponing facing up to your marriage crisis, that’s really what you’ve been doing for the past couple of years.
So when you’re back home after the trip, you have to deal with it.
Listen, sweetie, many couples go through rough patches, which can sometimes last years. Before you throw in the towel, get some relationship therapy.
It could be that you’ve just lost each other, and have forgotten how to be a couple.