Q Hi Auntie Pearl, can you help me with my girlfriend.
She is very judge-arig. She tunes me the whole time about what I say and the way I do things.
Even dissing me for klein goedjies like the way I pack stuff in the fridge.
She used to only be judgy about other people, but now it’s all up in our relationship.
Like when she doesn’t smaak my opinion on something, she sommer makes up new rules about what I am allowed to say or not.
Whenever I do something that she doesn’t like, it always a moerse ding and we have a big fight. She goes all OTT and will do things like take down any pictures she has of me, and block my number for a few days.
But we actually have a kwaai time together until I say the wrong thing, don’t do exactly what she wants, or don’t meet her expectations.
How do I put an end to this judgemental and controlling behaviour?
From Keith
A Jinne Keith, to be honest, what you call “judgy” is what Auntie would sommer straight up call abusive!
We have mos all heard it so many times before – things are good when the other person is not being abusive, but inevitably there’s always more nastiness.
This girl of you sounds taatie, and Auntie guess you are sticking around because of the lekker times and because you want to see if there is a way to encourage her good side to make more of an appearance.
Of course, there are going to be good times, the problem is that the bad times will always roll round again.
Jammer om dit te sê, Keith, but the only way to spend more time with a good person and less with an abuser, is to dump the abuser and find a good person.
And from the sounds of it, your stukkie is not a good person.