Q Hi Auntie Pearl, I want to know if you think my berk is right or not.
We have been dating on and off for about six years, and recently we decided to take a break from our relationship.
The reason for this was so that he could sort out his head and decide whether he wants us to take things to the next level, like get engaged and stuff.
When he came back to me, he confessed that he hooked up with another woman. He says it was terrible, that he never wants to do it again, and now he is apparently ready for our relationship.
The weird thing is, I’m not even that angry at him. In fact, I forgive him.
But Auntie, can I trust him that he won’t do it again? Can we really move forward from this?
From Bets.
A Every time Auntie hears the words “we were on a break”, I can’t help thinking of Ross and Rachel in Friends. A lot of you probably know what we’re talking about here.
But being on a break is not as simple as saying that he can go and do whatever and whoever he wants during this time.
The question is: What were the terms of your “break”?
Was this just some time you two were to spend apart to do some thinking, each by yourself? Or was the break actually a “break-up”, no strings attached, even just for a while?
If it was a proper break-up, then neither of you are bound by your relationship, and your berk did nothing wrong. Technically.
This doesn’t mean that you have to be okay with what he did.
If you decide to give this relationship another go, you are going to have to talk about what happened so that you are both on the same page.
Listen, Bets, the bottom line is he slept with someone else and has now decided he’d rather be with you than single; if you want to be bymekaar, take him at his word and move forward. But maybe hold off on the whole marriage thing.
Give this latest version of your relationship some time and see if things have really changed.