Q
Dear Auntie Pearl, I don’t like hanging out my vuil wasgoed in public, but I am so gatvol that I have come to you for help.
My wife is lazy, like seriously. I can’t stand it anymore.
We have been married for over five years now, and she is a lovely woman, but it’s just that she does not do anything at home.
I am the provider, and I would at least expect her to do the bare minimum of cleaning the house and maybe do some cooking.
Sy het die hele damn dag om iets te doen!
I’m a little ashamed to say that I recently lost my temper and yelled at her; and for a week or two after that she at least swept the floor once or twice.
But now it’s back to her old ways.
I work all day, and still have to keep the house clean, do the shopping and have to cook food. Dis mos nie fair nie.
Please help, I am at the point of getting a divorce.
From Gatvol
A
Jinne, Auntie can believe you are gatvol of this situation.
Shame man, a person mos expects that everyone in the household, especially in a marriage, does their part.
Dis sommer nonsens that you have to work all day, and then come home and do all the house chores.
Auntie is not saying that women need to be kaalvoet in die kombuis and all that old school gedagtes, but if your wifey is living lekker at home without lifting a finger and expecting you to staan reg that’s just not right.
But yoh, a divorce might be a bietjie hectic at this stage.
What have you tried to do to get her to lift her bum and help out a bit?
Because Auntie can tell you now, just yelling at her is not going to change anything.
Have you sat her down and have a serious heart to heart. A real grown-up talk so she can see how serious you are.
You have to make her understand how her actions, or rather inactions, are making you feel.
Has your wife always been so luigat? Nee, sies man! You poor thing.
Maybe it’s time that you also “stop contributing”.
Just cut off her allowance, stop doing chores and maybe hou jou koud in the bedroom, and she’ll quickly get the idea.
Tough love might be just the thing she needs to get her gat in rat.