Q
Dear Auntie Pearl, I am a total mess! I dumped my girlfriend two weeks ago because she was all up in my life. All the time. I needed some space, you know.
Auntie, I like her as a person, so I iced her totally – no contact! I thought maybe this was the best thing to do to give us a chance to be friends again later.
I unfollowed her on Insta and FB, blocked her on Snap and WhatsApp, all those things and now we have not communicated at all.
As I said, it’s been two weeks and I thought this was enough time for us to start moving on. I decided to hit her up, on the phone, but she went ballistic! She yelled at me and said she is angry – but also that she is going to go do dinge.
I don’t know what she’s on about, but I’m scared she is talking about going to do drugs or jol around or something stupid.
Auntie, this girl is only 16. I’m already 19 – so I’m not stupid.
What should I do now? Like I said, I care for her and don’t want something to happen to her.
From Chad.
A
Kyk hier, you might be 19 years old, but you are still bleddie stupid. Nat agter die ore and all that.
You should have known that your break-up strategy is versin. What 16-year-old girl is going to be alright if her older berk just dumps her and then cuts all communication?
Yoh, and then she nogal sounds like the clingy type. Can she read between the lines of you wanting some space?
No, man, she is going to tjank her eyes out and be all dikbek and deurmekaar e n emotional for days, weeks, maybe even months.
The chances of you two patching things up two weeks after a break-up and becoming friends is malligheid.
There’s a bigger chance of Patricia de Lille becoming president than that happening!
You might be a bietjie inexperienced in the relationship department, but Auntie can sense you are not a bad guy.
It seems that you at least really care about this girl, even if she is no longer your girlfriend.
Your ex sounds a bietjie irrational, and it would be a kwaai idea if she were to get some professional help to deal with these emotions.
She’s feeling rejected by you and this is making her act out.
Auntie can’t blame her, getting dumped in this way will make any teen taatie.
It’s a common kind of thing with young relationships; you mos feel everything more intensely in your teenage years.
If you are really worried about her, have a chat with her parents, sister or anyone else she’s tight with.
They need to know about how she is feeling so that they can see that she doesn’t hurt herself.
She needs a shoulder to cry on, and that can’t be you. Forget about those versinne gedagtes about you being her friend now.
Actually, Auntie thinks you should suggest to her friends or family that she gets some professional help.
The counsellors at LifeLine offer free help, especially for young people! You can get their 24-hour crisis counselling service by calling 021 461 1111