I remember how shell-shocked I was the first time I heard a young woman verbally attack her colleague over a man.
It was in an office environment in the middle of the day. They both appeared extremely sweet over the time I got to know them. And just like Anushka and Mishqah, they were both two lovely Muslim ladies.
One of them got a little more attention from the guys in the office, as she was especially attractive.
Like Mishqah, she also just sat there quietly, while the other one launched such a profanity-laced tirade at her, that you could be forgiven for thinking you were in a shebeen late on a payday Friday night.
It was only slightly funny every time she stopped to answer the phone in higher-grade, corporate English, only to switch back to vuilbek ghetto girl moments later. I couldn’t believe the colourfully, filthy things that came out of her mouth that day.
It wasn’t very different from the words Anushka used to abuse Mishqah with, before beating her up in the backseat of her car.
By now everyone knows the story, and most have sat through the video and formed an opinion.
Some of those videoed opinions have found their way onto social media, and they are almost all highly supportive of Mishqah, who comes across as nothing but syrupy sweet and innocent.
Anushka, on the other hand, has cast herself as a cruel and calculating villain with severe anger issues.
That image is supported by the fact that she insists Mishqah show her face to the camera in her determination to cause as much lasting humiliation as possible.
But oh, what a spectacular backfire that plan ended up having.
Few of the opinions come from people who actually know these two ladies.
What I do know is that there was genuine fear in Mishqah’s eyes in the backseat of that car. Her body language and nervous laugh was that of someone scared for her life.
Anushka sounded like she was being spurred on by the distress she was causing in another human being.
It’s almost as if she became more and more emboldened and violent, every time Mishqah’s terror was obvious.
When Mishqah says she doesn’t know how to fight, it’s as if it triggers Anushka into a frenzy, knowing there would be no immediate retaliation.
These are fairly obvious observations. But what goes unnoticed is the origins of Anushka’s anger.
I will venture a guess that she was herself a victim of similar violent abuse at some stage in her life.
I say this because of the words she chooses to use in the video.
Things like “Do you want me to hit you?” and “look at me”, followed by “how dare you even look at me?”
Most people who are the products of violent households, myself included, will testify to the convoluted reasoning and unreasonable logic used by perpetrators of such violence.
It’s usually guardians and they are entirely driven by their emotions in that moment and are unable to self-regulate and incapable of stopping themselves.
Once their minds are set on beating you up, there are no words you can use to placate them, not even the ones they put into your mouth at that moment.
So while many people have been baying for Anushka’s blood, we need to stop and ask ourselves what motivates treatment of others.
We are all the products of our experiences and we all know that violence begets violence.
We act out our own childhood traumas in adulthood, and it is a known fact that victims of abuse often become abusive themselves, because that is the only way they know to resolve conflict.
They also have a pent-up frustration from all the years of not being able to defend themselves, so the moment they see an opportunity to freely lash out at the world without consequences, they do.
Especially if they are weak-minded and unable to reason through their own traumas and protect others from the same.
While I feel for Mishqah, she strikes me as a strong lady who will survive this moment in time. Anushka, on the other hand, needs help.