Save us the trouble boeta.
We all know how sleg you are. We are not going to throw you a pity party - we are all gehok by the coronavirus these days anyway.
For those of you who don’t know who Lance Armstrong is, he is the biggest fraud in sporting history.
A cheat of epic proportions, the American cyclist claimed seven Tour de France races in a row from 1999 to 2005, all the while using a doping system that went undetected for years.
And with the sport losing all credibility as every other skelm got caught, he used his battle with testicular cancer to cloak himself as an underdog.
He made everyone believe that he was clean and was just winning on sheer will power.
It was a beautiful cover story.
But no matter how many times he’d climb the Alps or sprint through Paris, the truth was always in hot pursuit.
And he finally came clean in 2013, confessing to Oprah nogal, and then telling the BBC in 2015 that he had been at it since 1995.
Turns out that that was a lie too.
In a documentary later this month, Armstrong will admit that he has been cheating since the age of 21.
Now the details are sketchy and he may not have technically been cheating by shooting up vitamins, but he knew that he would do anything to gain an advantage - whether it was legal or not.
And that is the definition of a cheat at the end of the day.
After having had all his most prized titles stripped from him and his fall from grace complete, what more could he do to shock us?
I’ve seen this guy make gat of his own cheating in the movie Tour de Pharmacy, in which he plays a whistleblower for musclebound John Cena’s character, who is a juiced-up drug cheat.
Now it’s [email protected] funny when it’s obvious that Cena is on something, but Armstrong was incredibly skelm.
He and his team would use their own drawn blood - conditioned at higher altitudes to absorb more oxygen - and then inject that blood back at race time.
It was basically the perfect sporting crime. And what makes it all the more damning on Armstrong is that he never apologised to this day.
In the documentary, The Armstrong Lie, he admits that he was proud that they found the best way of cheating in a sport where everyone cheats.
Someone should slash his tyres and steal his puncture repair kit.
It made me naar to hear what he said. But I will probably end up watching the new documentary Lance when it comes out anyway.
There is still very little live sport to go around and I finished watching the gripping Last Dance docuseries this week.
The 10-part story tells the history of the 1990s Chicago Bulls team, which won six NBA titles in two hattrick runs.
The only time they didn’t win during the 90s was because of Michael Jordan’s first retirement.
Back then, I was a primary school basketball player, because there were no soccer teams close to where I lived.
Like almost every other kid, I looked up to Jordan - he was the biggest name in sport then and today a pair of Air Jordans is still the coolest shoe you can wear.
At least, Mike didn’t let us down.