So I've been dreading writing this piece for quite some time.
While it makes me sad to see what’s unfolded at the Emirates this season, I’ve simultaneously been able to shut out the carnage that is Arsenal.
It’s like a car crash - you know you shouldn’t look, but one fleeting glance means a lifetime of flashbacks.
Anyway fellow Arsenal fans, here is the truth: our club is a doppie team.
We all felt the club stagnating in the latter years of Arsene Wenger’s reign.
Then came Unai Emery and even though we looked clueless towards the end of his tenure last week, the club itself has no clear direction in these times of change. One direction Arsenal fans are getting used to is down.
Every season since the Invincibles 16 years ago, it doesn’t just feel like the sheen is going off that, but that a shot at the title gets further away.
And that feeling of drift runs through the entire club. At the top, the owner Stan Kroenke hasn’t invested a cent in the club, even though he is worth US $4bn.
Wenger and Emery just didn’t get the backing or support around them.
Scouting top talent meant selling them on in a couple of years and that means you can’t build a competitive team.
And that lack of commitment that starts at the top can be seen in every shot, dribble and tackle on the pitch.
Arsenal need to what Chelsea were forced to do with Frank Lampard. They brought in an icon from their glory days and it’s reaping the benefits.
I wonder if there even are young Arsenal fans that remember Patrick Vieira, Thierry Henry or Dennis Bergkamp.
Look, I love Freddie Ljungberg. But he ain’t Paddy Long Legs or Titi Hooray or the Iceman.
Arsenal need some dynamism.
And that’s why after 31 years of supporting this club, I can only say “sorry” to Arsenal fans.
Just like this club that does nothing, I feel nothing anymore.
I’ll just watch soccer where there is a spark of life.