Q Dear Auntie Pearl, this is quite embarrassing because I’m a guy who usually has no problem with these kinds of things, but how shall I put it, these days I’m not the loving husband my wife knows.
We’ve been married a few years now and dating for long, and we’ve always had a great sex life.
But ever since a few months into lockdown last year, it just hasn’t been the same.
We were both at home a lot, even now, and we have so much time to do it, but we don’t.
I lost my job, and we were stressing for a bit, but it’s all better now. I think. I hope.
We love each other and things are mostly great otherwise. It’s just in bed.
So why are we not doing it so much like before?
It’s like my libido is on lockdown! Help!
A Aai jinne hartjie, lekker lag die auntie nou van jou libido on lockdown!
Playing hide-and-go-seek!
Halieha, jokes aside sweetness, let’s have a look at your probbie.
It’s often uncomfortable talking about our sex lives, or the lack thereof, but it’s good you are voicing this as Auntie is sure many mense, and many manne, are dealing with this exact same situation at home.
You were brave enough to rek your bek and Auntie commends you for this.
So obviously, this pandemic has affected and changed almost all the areas of our lives – even all the way into our bedrooms!
We are now living with constant uncertainty with the nommers changing every week.
Now we have vaccines, then we don't.
Now you can go to work, school and the beach, then you can’t.
All this uncertainty and ups and downs can mos influence your mental and physical health, skattebol!
And if you don't feel lekker, you’re mos not going to want to do the wild thing, it only makes sense.
Many things can influence your libido, or your lus for sex, pandemic or te not.
Things like your age, medications you might be taking, how much you smoke and dop, your self-esteem and body image can all play a role.
And the biggest thing that can affect your libido is stress!
You can’t be stressed and have great sex at the same time.
Too much of the stress hormone cortisol can easily suppress your sex drive.
But your loss in libido isn’t your fault or your wife’s fault, it’s no-one’s fault.
It’s just a reaction to our current times.
Whenever most mense experience trauma, grief, stress, or any kind of crisis, our libidos usually go hokaai, stoppie lorrie and slam on the brakes.
Try to unwind and blow life back into your sex life by doing fun things with your wife.
It can be simple things that don’t cost any money, just as long as it takes you out of your normal routine.
Go walk or jog on the beach or the mountain, enjoy a sunset or sunrise, play funny board games together, or watch a sexy flick or a comedy, laughter really is the best medicine and a great aphrodisiac.
If you like cooking, get her in the kitchen and prepare a nice meal together, complete with candle lights en alles.
Things will slowly start getting back to the ‘new normal’ and, along with that, your sex drive.
For now, if you and wifey are happy and healthy, don't break your head about it.
If you are really worried, go see your doctor because it’s always better to be safe than sorry.