Q
Dear Auntie Pearl, I’m a 14-year-old boy and have always been pretty social.
Earlier this year I changed schools and made new friends, but I still feel like the ‘odd one out’ in my high school.
I even sometimes cry when I’m alone.
I wonder if my friends actually hate me, or is it all in my head?
From Nkosi
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A
My dear Nkosi, all this Auntie wants to do is to come over and give you a great big hug.
No man sweetie, where does all this sadness come from?
You sound like an intelligent young boy, and good for you for asking for help because you clearly suspect something is wrong with you.
But moenie worry nie, there’s no need to cry and feel like the odd Smartie in the box.
Now Nkosi, why would your new tjommies hate you, my boy?
Did you perhaps do or say something that they didn’t like?
Sometimes it’s better to just come out and ask people if they have a problem with you.
But it actually sounds like you adapted quite well, making friends so quickly en alles.
So why the sad face?
It really sounds to Auntie like it’s all in your head, my skat.
Now Auntie can understand that you are still feeling like the “odd one out”, after all you are the new kid on the block who had to move to a new school just as you started your high school career.
But daai’s now something of the past – it’s time to look to the future, and you are going to leave those gedagtes in 2019 and start 2020 on a fresh note.
None of daa i negativity in the new year!
Nkosi, you are a 14-year-old boy who has had a big change in your life, a teenager who had to cope with a lot of new things − so feeling a bietjie lost, scared, sad and alone is completely natural and normal.
Talk to someone you trust about this, like your parents, a teacher or counsellor at school, an older brother or sister or even one of your new friends to whom you feel close.
Maybe if your new pals know how you feel, they will try to make you feel more welcome and included.
Just be yourself: a nice, friendly boy with a zest for life.
All the best, Nkosi. May 2020 be your year to shine, sweetness.
And if you think you need to talk to someone outside of your circle for some advice, why not try these mense:
Childline is a special service for children such as yourself, Nkosi, where counsellors listen to thousands of children just like you, throughout the country, to help them understand what they feel.
Their helpline is 24 hours a day and toll-free, so that you can contact them any time, from anywhere, and in an emergency situation. When you are ready to reach out and talk to a counsellor, call them on the 24/7 helpline 08 000 55 555
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