Q Dear Auntie Pearl, I have been busy with my boyfriend now for three years already.
I am not happy. I thought we would be married by now.
I am supporting him in doing everything for him, but he is cheating on me left, right and centre. The people are also talking.
Then he said to me I must not listen to people from outside.
Please help, Auntie. This is hurting and I am very stressed.
He doesn’t hit me or anything, but he’s rude.
From Novu in Gugs.
A My dear Novu, you sound like a real sweetie pie to Auntie and Auntie wishes she can scoop you up in her arms and give you a warm hug.
Basta mettie social distancing soema!
What a truly horrible time you are having in this relationship, sweetness.
It sounds like you’ve put in three long, hard years and you are a good partner who gives love and support, and now all you have to show for it is heartache and pain.
Let’s just get one thing straight, hartjie: abuse isn’t only physical!
You say he doesn’t hit you so it’s almost ‘OK’ but that’s actually the furthest from the truth. This berk of yours is mentally and emotionally abusing you.
He’s cheating, lying, sleeping around, and stressing you out while you are feeling used, while you are doing everything for him and while you have to deal with the mense talking behind your back.
You are suffering mentally and emotionally and you are the only one who can make it stop.
You need to decide if you want to wait around for him, or get on with life.
Staying with him just because you’ve been together for three years is not a reason, Novu.
Do you want to wake up in another three years and sit with the same problems?
It doesn't even sound like he’s skaam about it or if he hides it very well, seeing as you and the whole community know about his jolling!
Think about the kind of life you want in three years’ time, Novu, and then move towards that life one step at a time.
And maybe the first step is to get rid of this so-called boyfriend of yours!
Oh, and Novu, if he’s stieking his sausage into other pies and then coming home for yours, you should get tested for HIV and STDs to be safe, rather than sorry.