Former Idols SA Winner Karin Kortje sent her fans and followers on an emotional rollercoaster this week as she opened up about some of the most painful episodes of her life on TikTok.
Kortje said her life fell apart just one year after she clinched the Idols title in November 2005.
Shortly after her win, she fell in love with Cheslin Williams, but she soon realised that he was not the man she thought he was.
In a fateful twist of events, Williams was convicted and sentenced for the murder of mother of two, Renate Kellerman, at her Durbanville guesthouse on 13 July 2006.
He, Karin and the singer’s manager had been staying at the guesthouse while Karin worked on a TV advert.
Karin, 44, told her followers that she had been the one who informed police that Williams may have killed Renate, as his suitcase was missing from their room when she returned home from work that fateful night.
And instead of riding the wave of her Idols fame, her life turned into a nightmare following Williams’ arrest.
She said she lost many friends, and it took years for her to work through the trauma of Renate’s murder, Williams’ betrayal and her own misplaced guilt.
But she finally felt strong enough to face her fans.
She also managed to reach out to Renate’s husband and two children, begging for their forgiveness, as she had blamed herself for bringing Williams into their life.
The mom of four is now happily married to Angelo Makka.
In one of her many videos on TikTok, Karin said: “Someone asked if I ever felt guilty. Yes I felt that it was my fault that Cheslin killed this woman, because I brought him there.
“I punished myself around that, I had my fair share of punishing myself. I struggled emotionally, mentally and spiritually.”
Her career also suffered, as sponsors withdrew their support and her record label dropped her.
Karin said in the hours following Renate’s murder, she finally realised that she had to let go of Williams, in order to save herself and her child.
She adds: “Someone asked me if I would still have been with him if this never happened, I don’t know. I never wanted to be in an abusive relationship, I didn’t ask who to fall in love with.
“He wasn’t good for me but because I loved him, I couldn’t depart from those feelings.”
She said she used to have nightmares about Renate’s death and would often see her ghost walking into a room.
Of her haunting, Karin says: “All I could see was her face. My God, she was a beautiful lady. My soul couldn’t rest. I would think about her children and what they must be going through.”
In 2012, Karin reached out to Renate’s husband and asked to meet with the family as part of her healing journey.
She shares: “He could have said no, I was prepared for whatever the outcome would be. But things turned out for the good.
“I remember sitting in the lounge, talking. The kids came in, I looked at them and my heart dropped.
“The girl looked as beautiful as her mother. I embraced them and asked for forgiveness and to hear those kids say that they forgive me was the turning point in my life.
“That’s what I needed. Her family still celebrates her birthday every year. I’m grateful that I could get their forgiveness.”