The Democratic Alliance is sinking, with all their captains jumping ship.
The only one at the helm presently is Helen Zille.
The new chair of the party’s federal council looked a combination of shell-shocked and moeg geskree at Wednesday’s press conference, didn’t she?
She couldn’t have been shocked by party leader Mmusi Maimane’s exit - it had been on the cards.
Maimane said there was a campaign by DA members, who didn’t share his vision, to attack his leadership and his family.
Details of scandals involving his home and car were leaked to the media - it smacked of the vuilgat tactics the DA employed against former Cape Town mayor Patricia de Lille.
His days were numbered, but what Zille probably hadn’t counted on was Maimane’s next-in-line, federal chairperson Athol Trollip, stepping down the same day. Yikes!
The media briefing was delayed by two hours - can you imagine the begging and pleading, fussing and fighting behind the scenes before they went live?
On Thursday Maimane quit the party altogether.
There was no way he could continue, after declaring: “... despite my best efforts, the DA is not the vehicle best suited to take forward the vision of building One South Africa for All.”
This week’s leadership exodus - which was triggered by Zille’s election on Sunday - started with Joburg mayor Herman Mashaba on Monday.
And on Thursday, John Steenhuisen, a close ally of Maimane’s, noted that his time was up as DA chief whip in Parliament.
ALLIES: Maimane & John Steenhuisen
But the tide had already turned when party boss James Selfe, who had served as chair of the federal executive for 19 years, resigned in June.
This following the party’s poor showing at the elections in May.
So why are all the leaders fleeing from Zille like she’s serving listeriosis polony?
What is happening to the party and who is going to fill the leadership void?
Well, De Lille may have provided a clue in her “I told you so” jibe at Maimane.
“I am not claiming to be a sangoma but I warned Mmusi that if he didn’t stand on principle, his party’s laptop boys would swallow him up and spit him out,” she said.
The “laptop boys” she was referring to may be Zille’s new crew at the IRR.
The Institute of Race Relations was a little-known think tank doing political analysis, formulating policy and lobbying government and parties.
That was until Zille finished her term as Premier and joined the IRR in July, becoming a powerful brand ambassador for their white "classic liberal" politics.
Next thing you know, with the Madam’s backing, the laptop boys were telling the DA how to run the party.
They called for Maimane - and his “ANC lite” talk of diversity and transformation - to be fired and replaced by a “white man” - Western Cape Premier Alan Winde.
Soema net so.
Steenhuisen told the IRR politely to gaan kruip, saying: “Given that the IRR has such strong opinions about the DA’s leadership and internal debates, they are more than welcome to become members of the DA and exercise their membership rights to participate in the DA’s next congress, at which the party’s leadership will be elected, instead of sniping from the sidelines.”
Maimane added: “I don’t subscribe to right-wing movements. If the IRR must involve itself in internal party policy, it’s an overstepping of its job. It’s supposed to provide ideas and ideals.”
Clearly, Team Maimane was not dancing to the tune of Zille and her desk jockeys.
But when Zille got elected fedco chair, she hijacked the party and chased everyone out.
Problem now is there’s no one to help her run the show.
TARGARYEN: Natasha Mazzone.
She can’t ask the laptop boys to do Powerpoint presentations to thousands of supporters at a rally at Orlando Stadium.
Selfe, Maimane, Mashaba, De Lille and Lindiwe Mazibuko are out of the picture. Steenhuisen is not certain.
There is that big Targaryen woman... DA-nerys Natasha Mazzone.
But hey, options are limited and Zille may have to do it alone.
She probably will.