Q Dear Auntie Pearl, I have a problem with a girl.
It’s actually quite embarrassing so I’m asking you because I feel I can’t ask my tjommies…
I knew this girl way back when we were in school, but it’s not like we were ever close or anything like that. She used to date a friend of a friend or something, I think.
So the thing is now, a few years later, we are now 24 years old, she has found me on the internet and she started following me on all the social medias. It started when we were in lockdown.
She often writes messages that seemed fine at first, but I don’t know… I think she’s off somehow.
I will post a random photo with my brasse and she’s like “Have a lekker day, gorgeous”.
What does that mean? Is she making moves? We don’t really know each other and she’s like commenting on every single thing I post.
I haven’t responded and my tjommies are also asking me who’s this girlie.
Sometimes when it gets too much I block her, but then she just makes a new account and friends me again. Sometimes she even uses other names.
Is it easiest to just ignore it and hope she goes away? Is she stalking me? I have never messaged her back.
A Sjoe Owam, Auntie doesn’t want to be snaaks, but this does sound a bietjie creepy…
If you’ve never told this girlie to hou her bek then it might be time to speak up broertjie!
What would you have done if a woman at a shebeen kept trying to make the moves on you?
You would mos tell her nicely “thanks, but no thanks” or tell her to hit the road if she doesn’t listen.
Auntie would say she is basically online stalking you.
If she hasn’t picked up that you want nothing to do with her – because you are blocking her sometimes and not even replying to her messages – then maybe be more clear.
Auntie skeems it’s time you communicate directly with this person.
Tune her straight that you are not interested and that you will block her because she is becoming a problem. You feel like she is stalking you and it has to stop.
Tell her if she doesn’t stop, you will be forced to take things a step further and report her.
Maybe message her directly – moet nou nie vuilwasgoed in public was nie. Be firm and direct, and only go public if you really feel you need to.
You could even ask your friends or followers on whatever social media platforms you use to report any comments from her account.
On the other hand, Owam, you did say that she started with this business during lockdown – could it be that she’s lonely, alone at home, sick at home, or needing company?
Maybe she is just trying to reach out to you, to anyone, in a strange way because she is struggling with life.
So many people are struggling with their health, and mental health and in general this year, so maybe also just be sensitive to this.