I am often bitterly disappointed by the actions of men.
But nothing infuriates me more than when my gender destroys women’s intimate trust in us.
I read a story recently about a Capetonian woman forced to go to court to prevent her ex-husband from publishing intimate videos and pictures of her taken during happier times.
It doesn’t get any more infantile than this; destroying an intimate partner’s reputation and dignity in a fit of anger.
This is something that has become known as “revenge porn” and it’s almost exclusively men who make themselves guilty of it.
In this case, he wanted her to withdraw some of her testimony during their divorce proceedings, so he threatened her with the publication of the images.
According to the report, the woman had consented to him taking videos of the two of them having sex and also of him taking nude pictures of her.
She even admitted she would on occasion send him nudes of herself.
I’m pretty sure she did this as a fun way of spicing up their marriage.
Admittedly, this is not everyone’s cup of tea and I’m sure there are people condemning her for having been stupid and how they would never do dumb things like that.
But let’s not judge the relationship and rather accept that we all do questionable things when we’re in love.
Besides, it’s not stupid to have an inherent trust that your partner won’t betray you.
The court agreed and ordered him to destroy all compromising images of her.
Coincidentally, Parliament is currently reconsidering proposals to widen the scope of pornography in the country.
No doubt the issue of revenge porn will also be discussed, since we don’t have any direct legislation against it.
But do we really need laws to force us to be decent human beings?
I have never understood the hatred that comes with the ending of a relationship.
The initial hurt and anger makes sense, but with the passage of time, surely you feel nothing but warmth towards an ex, especially since we tend to remember only the good times!
Personally, I am friends with and adore each and every woman I have ever dated, been married to and even just had a crush on, and I can’t imagine harming them in any way.
I hope this ruling is a lesson to women to be absolutely sure of your man’s emotional intelligence, before agreeing to lights, camera, action!
And guys, when it’s over, walk away like a gentleman and continue to defend her dignity.
Don’t ruin a bit of future naked, on-camera fun for the rest of us!