After witnessing what was barely more than a training match AND goal celebrations resembling a glitch on Playstation Fifa 20, I was left with one thought if this wasn’t an advert to cancel ALL football, I don’t know what is.
Man it was terrible, lack of energy and enthusiasm, completely one-way traffic and non-stop swearing: “Fick dich Arschloch, Sheisse, sohn einer Hündin” echoing around the empty Signal Iduna Park.
I was (like most of us) hoping for a bit of lockdown relief, a bit of escapism, something to inspire a bit of hope it was the total opposite.
I was left with the distinct feeling that most players would prefer to be at home (or having underground sex parties, as seems to be in fashion at the moment).
This was crystalised in a post-match interview with Dortmund’s Erling Haaland, who’d scored the opener in his team’s 4-0 thrashing.
Interviewer: “After the final whistle, you and the whole teammates, you were going to the south stand, the famous Yellow Wall which was empty today, of course. Why did you do that?”
Haaland: “Why not?”
Interviewer: “Is it a kind of message you want to send out?”
Interviewer: “Would you tell us the message?”
Haaland: “To my fans.”
Interviewer: “They’re everything to you and football is to Dortmund.”
Haaland: “It is.”
Interviewer: “Thanks a lot! What a pleasure to talk to you.” Haaland: “Thank you.”
Now if that doesn’t tell a story!
Frenetic discussions continue to get the Premier League up and running and it looks like it’s going to happen.
Government has been supportive and given the apparent safety aspect of the weekend’s fixtures in Germany, the money-locomotive that is the English top division is surely on-track for a mid-June start.
Of course we all miss it. Of course we’ll all be watching, but there’s no doubt, what we are all about to receive is a f**ing joke.
I say: “Void all football now”
Your thoughts? Let me know on [email protected]
My good people, be safe, listen to the advice, we’re going to beat it! See you next week