Q Dear Auntie Pearl, I hope you can help me.
So this is the story.
I have been in a relationship with this boy since I was in Grade 6 and I am now in Grade 10 and I am 17 years old.
He is 19 and he broke my virgin.
Every time I go to his house he wants to have the sex.
Sometimes I don’t want to and I tell him that and then he gets difficult and sometimes he pulls my hair or my arm and says terrible words.
He doesn’t work and didn’t finish school, he does drink sometimes and then fights with me.
I love him but I can’t cope with him anymore.
From Confused Princess T.
A Sweetie pie, you need to get out of this emotionally and physically abusive relationship immediately!
OMG soos julle kinders van vandag sê, Auntie is really upset about this sorry excuse of a outjie who is treating you like this.
You, Princess T, are a precious young thing who is allowing this broken boy to treat you like a piece of crap.
Sorry for the French hartjie, but you have to look at the cold hard truth – he is using you for sex and taking out his moods on you.
Who knows how long before he really hurts you? Or even worse!
You see the headlines, you read the Daily Voice, you know what happens in abusive relationships, you know what some men are capable of.
Jy’s nie dom nie meisie.
My jinne Princess T, you are only 17 years old and he’s basically been messing with you since you were a baby.
Hayibo girl, this is a recipe for disaster!
No wonder you are confused nuh, he was your first and he’s teaching you all kinds of stupid dinge about sex and relationships and so on.
And now if he doesn’t get what he wants from you, he’s abusing you - mentally and physically.
Pasop nuh, my mammie always had this saying - vroeg ryp, vroeg vrot!
And it sounds like you are on a slippery slope to becoming a vrot mango.
But seriously sweetheart, why are you still with him? You said it yourself – you can’t cope with him any more.
So leave him!
Now Auntie also knows that’s easier said than done.
He clearly doesn’t respect or love you, and he’s just using you for sex and a punching bag.
You need to tell a family member, friend, teacher, or an adult who you can trust about what he’s doing to you.
It can’t go on like this, you are too young and it’s been happening for too long already.
You can contact Childline toll free on 080 005 5555, where you will find counselling 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
These kwaai mense will help you with your problem by giving you advice and help you to take action.
Please call them today meisiekind, you need to get away from this abusive berk of yours!
Remember, no man ever has the right to hit you, or hurt you, or demand sex, not even if he was the one who popped your cherry.
Speaking of which, Auntie really hopes you are having protected sex – no glove, no love.
You are too young to be having sex, but please be sensible about it and protect yourself from a pregnancy, STDs and HIV/Aids.
The last thing you want now is to change your life forever with an unwanted pregnancy or a life changing sexually transmitted disease.