Married men should know they have responsibilities and not be entertaining the community Jezebel

Q Dear Aunty Merle, there’s this loose goose in our area.  And she’s had affairs with almost all the guys. She also slept with my man.

She smaaks the married men, and she’s been jolling with my hubby’s married friend for almost a year.

I can tell you the neighbourhood women are gatvol of this homewrecker and are talking about getting rid of her one way or another.

My hubby’s been very open about all of this and says he’s a changed man.

I told him to change his number, and he did. He told me that I should phone her and tell her to stay away from him

I sent her a real bitchy SMS.

What do I do now?


A Dear Ferial

Ai jinne, my child, what a way to start the new year. I know the kind of lady you’re talking about. Sy staan sieker heeldag by die hekkie in ’n pink nightie with a loose cigarette.  

Every neighbourhood has one. Jezebel and Delilah will always dwell among us.

I would like to focus on two main issues in your letter: the homewrecker and the married man. 

I will kick off with the homewrecker.  The so-called homewrecker has been among us since thy kingdom come, and will be among us until the cows come home.  

There is always that girl who simply refuses to stay away from a man with a wedding band. I don’t think that the rest of us will ever really understand the reason why these girls exclusively choose to jump under the duvet with a getroude outjie.  

That would be a task for some clever people with degrees to analyse over years.  

But my Belgravia Road neighbour Soraya Samsodien and I have chatted about this issue a number of times. We’ve talked about possible reasons as to why girls do this. Maybe they have problems being in a committed relationship and they know that the married man will never stay.  

Maybe they get some strange sense of pleasure out of sneaking around secretly and sitting at the back of a movie house undercover, at the afternoon screening, where only six people are at the mall.  

Or maybe they’ve been hurt terribly when they were younger and they are determined to follow a destructive path. Whatever the reasons, we can’t really be sure.  

But what I can be sure about today is, if you are that girl, and if you are reading this, sweetheart your heart will be broken somewhere along the line. 

Be it by the horrible way other people talk about you, be it by the fact that most married men ultimately stay with the wife, or be it by the fact that you will one day look in the mirror and realise that you are worth so much more than being some dirty secret that eventually no longer becomes a dirty secret shared by only two people.  

Mense praat. And a story on the Cape Flats spreads faster than a wildfire in Silvermine. 

You’ve been created to be better than that.

And now I turn to the married man.  And Ferial, this is for your husband and every married man reading this: is your fly zip broken?!  

Why must the woman always be taking the responsibility for your pants that could not stay on?  

All day on the road, you drive properly - you don’t just crash into oncoming cars - because you know it’s against the law and people may die.  

So control yourself in the same way when you know you have a wife and children at home.  

The lady leaning over her gate in the pink nightie with the loose cigarette is off limits to you!  

You’re an adult now. With responsibilities. And a family that looks up to you. Act the part, kanala.

So Ferial, to you and the other ladies from your road reading this, focus on your husbands.  

Los vir Delilah. Save your energy and your data.  

She’s only at that gate because someone is stopping to chat to her. That’s the problem.

All my Love, Aunty Merle.