Q Dear Auntie Pearl, I am so eensaam and I am scared that I am going to die alone.
Ok, maybe I should not start with that, because it’s not totally true.
There is a guy who is interested in me, but I’m just not that into him.
He is a very nice guy, cheerful and kwaai and all that, but I just can’t see myself getting intimate with him.
Please don’t judge or think I just want a bed buddy, my concern is that I want a complete relationship, not just another friend with benefits.
He says he is fine with whatever, as long as he can be in my life.
Is ek mal not to be with this guy? I just feel that if we do get bymekaar I would be sort of be leading him on because I’m not sure if I could be totally into him.
From Lonely Lilly.
A Ai meisie, we are all afraid of ending up alone with nobody to love and nobody to love us.
But is this reason enough to compromise and settle for a guy you are not totally into? Auntie dink nogal nie so nie.
And take it from us, one is never too old to meet Mister Right and find true love.
Believe it, sister, Auntie has seen people finding their soulmate when they are in their 80s!
What you need to figure out is whether you can spend the rest of your life with this guy.
Is good, passionate sex a deal-breaker for you?
Could you grow to love him more than “just a friend”?
Is he being honest about being fine with any relationship?
These are some taai questions you have to find answers to.
If you don’t feel 100% going into this relationship, you need to cut this guy loose.
Like you, he deserves the chance to find happiness with someone who can totally love him.
Lilly, a person can’t fake their feelings or force the thing if the spark just isn’t there.
En ‘n mens wil mos nie ‘n flou koppie tee drink nie!
Going forward, Auntie’s advice is also for you to go out and meet new people and make new friends.
You are never going to find a partner by staying at home.
And speaking of friends… now Auntie doesn’t want to confuse you, but it’s not unheard of for pals to become more than friends and end up in a happy relationship.
Just remember that.