Q Dear Auntie Pearl, I’m so confused. I’ve been married for 12 years.
I never thought my husband would ever cheat on me until I saw SMSes on his phone from other women. I confronted him about it and he told me he never met them, it was just an SMS, but I was still hurt.
I decided to contact these numbers and asked these women if they knew he was married, they all said no. Then I went through his phone again and I found out that he registered on MXit as a divorced man with three kids.
I decided not to let him know what I knew and after three months I bought myself a new SIM card and started to SMS him.
He never knew it was me, when I asked him why he divorced his wife, he said she was abusive and she swears a lot and stole his phone at night and calls every number on it.
He told me that he stays with his wife because of his children and that he doesn’t love his wife, but when he’s with me, he acts as if nothing’s wrong.
We make love and he tells me that he loves me every minute and that he doesn't want to lose me, but he doesn't know I know he is still on MXit with me.
Do you think I should tell him? I really don't know what to do? Do you think I should leave him? I still love him.
A Jirre girl, your letter reads like a bleddie soapie episode. It’s just love, deceit, lies, cheating and alles left, right and centre! Sjoe! Auntie’s still trying to keep up here with who’s messaging who, and who’s lying to who!
You have been lied to, cheated on, and hurt badly. Auntie is truly sorry about this.
This is a big fat mess. You and your husband need to be honest with each other – starting today. Auntie would also suggest you get professional help to guide you through this process.
Die is deurmekaar, and the sad thing is there are children involved who will also get hurt and pay the price of whatever you decide to do. You can however not go on like this, daai's madness!
Yes, he cheated and lied to you for who knows how long, but you’ve also now started lying and being skelm behind his back. Two wrongs don't make a right!
Contact the mense at FAMSA (Families South Africa) Western Cape and ask them for some guidance in this morsige matter. They can help you with family as well as relationship counselling. Phone them on 021 447 7951 and ask them how they can help. They have services available in Observatory, Khayelitsha, and Mitchells Plain.