Q Dear Auntie Pearl, I really don’t like this time of the year - Valentine’s Day is just looming over me like a huge dark cloud.
I always start to freak out and I don’t know why.
The thing is I have been single for ages, which is really fine by me but with Valentine’s Day, I just see mense in love, all the cards and it’s just hearts and red where you look!
And all my friends have all these plans with their stukkies.
I feel like everyone is doing something romantic and I’m starting to feel really lonely and like the odd one out. I have a good single life and have lots of friends, and it never bothers me – only this time of the year.
I’m married to my job and I love what I do, so I really don’t understand these feelings.
I date sometimes, but it never goes anywhere.
Why does Valentine’s Day make me feel so sad and alone?
From Mr Lonely.
A Shame Mr Lonely, you really had Auntie tearing up a bietjie here on this side.
And you want to know why? Because it’s not an easy thing you are admitting to, especially not this time of the year where everything is moonlight and roses and lovey-dovey dinge.
And the other reason Auntie’s all teary-eyed is because like Michael Jackson sang You are not alone.
You are one of the millions of ouens and vrouens out there who feel this way – so you might feel alone, but actually, you are not alone.
Many people feel like you do about Valentine’s Day – this day places way too much pressure on couples and singles alike.
And this could be one of the reasons why you get so upset about this day.
But Mr Lonely, try to think of this as just another day.
The thing is just, it’s not Valentine’s Day that is making you unhappy.
Auntie thinks it’s not being in a relationship that is making you sad and blue.
This day represents something that you want. And don’t have.
It’s not going to help being in denial about it Mr Lonely; it’s time, to be honest with yourself!
Auntie schemes that deep down you want a Valentine, but it’s probably not fitting into your life plan at the moment so you are telling yourself you don’t need it or want it.
These feelings you get around V-Day are probably always there, but you’re so busy with your larney job, your sexy dates and your lekker single life that you are surprised by these feelings when Valentine’s comes around, and they pop out like a pimple!
It’s because the truth hurts, nuh – those feelings are actually there all year!
Heito potato, man up and be honest with yourself.
Relationships take work, you need more than one date to get to know a person, and compromise is key.
That’s the reality of relationships boeta.
There is no shame in being single but then own it – don’t let the chocolates and hearts in the window displays get you down.
Auntie skeem you need to get a realistic view on what a real relationship is like – so talk to your tjommies who are in relationships or married.
And give yourself the gift of love this Valentine’s Day, Mr Lonely, and honesty with yourself will be the first step!