Q Dear Auntie Pearl, I have a problem and it’s about this girl I met. Well, we haven’t really met, that’s the problem.
So we started chatting after meeting each other on a dating app after my tjommie met this really duidelike girl who didn’t stay far from us and now they are dating and they are really great together.
I am quite shy so I thought, if it works for him maybe it will work for me.
So we met and have been chatting for about three weeks on WeChat.
Not sure if you know WeChat Auntie but it’s cool cos it’s all over the world.
So this girl is actually in America and Auntie she’s the love of my life. We chat every day, we talk for hours and it’s so nice to get to know someone so well.
I stay in the Flats and she’s also from the American kind of Cape Flats area so we actually have a lot in common. I really believe we should be together forever.
I am 24 and she’s actually a bit younger than I am. She says she is planning to visit South Africa to come and meet her black and coloured brothers and sisters of Africa.
She asked me to help her with her ticket because she’s a waitress.
I have quite a good job at a cellphone company, and I have a side hustle with this tjommie of mine. So I’m good for the money.
The thing is, my mother is telling me if I send this random girl money she will throw me out of the house.
She says this girl is a liegbek and I shouldn’t bother with American girls want hulle hou vir hulle upstairs and I should get myself a local girl.
What should I do Auntie? I can’t move out and I also can’t live not knowing when this girl will be here in South Africa to visit me. I love her and she’s all I think about.
A Ooh jinne Kieran, Auntie wil nou nie hoes, poep of jou laat panic nie, but Auntie smells a rat. And not sommer any rat – a big, fat, stinky rat.
And that rat is this “girl” who has gnawed her way into your brain and your heart and now apparently your wallet.
Listen Kieran, this might be tough to hear, but you didn’t listen to your mammie so maybe you will listen to your friendly neighbourhood Auntie – you are probably being scammed sweetie pie.
How many times have we not seen this?
Someone in some far off country hooking a nice guy (or vrou) like you online… at first it’s all lekker chatting and getting along and then the romance blooms, and the next moment staan hulle bakhand asking for money. And Kieran, you will never see that money again!
Think carefully – in this time of a global pandemic that’s still with us, with America having all kinds of snaakse rules and regulations and travel being a bietjie difficult to say the least, she thinks she can just hop on a plane and go on a love cruise from America to South Africa?
If she’s a waitress, she’s probably making peanuts, so how will she afford the expensive trip from America to come and “meet her black and coloured brothers and sisters of Africa”.
This is Auntie’s honest opinion – if you give this person money, you will never see it again. And she will keep on asking for money.
And if you refuse, you’ll never see or hear from her again.
And she will do this to someone else – probably another sweet, kind and goeie klong from the Flats. And Auntie won’t stand for that!
Now you seem like a good guy Kieran, so don’t go and throw away your life, and your hard earned money, for a girl you’ve been chatting with for only a few weeks.
Your mammie is right bokka, and if you were Auntie’s child, Auntie would tell you the exact same thing your ma is telling you.
If you think Auntie is mal and wrong about this being a scam, then at least take things slow.
You should tell this person you are platsak and can’t send money, and see how she reacts.
Because if she hears you’re not a blesser and she suddenly stops chatting, then you know it was all one big lie.
Or if she continues to push you to make a plan to get money, then that’s also a red flag.
A good relationship is mos built on trust and love. It shouldn’t be about how much money you have.
Be careful out there Kieran – the online world can be a very skelm plek and Auntie wouldn’t want you to fall victim to it.
Stay safe, and stay wys!