Q
Dear Pearl, I need your help on how to handle a situation. You see, one of my friends has started dating a guy that I think is not right for her.
A few years back I was at a party, and I saw this guy drinking a lot and even doing drugs. Now my friend is dating this guy, but he is acting all nice and making as if he is an angel.
My friend is crazy for him and I’m scared if I tell her about his dark side she is going to get angry and drop me.
Auntie, my friend is conservative, and now this guy is sommer saying things like he thinks smoking entjies is evil. She loves it. But he used to smoke and did even worse!
What must I tell her? Should I tell her anything? Does she need to be warned?
From Antonique
A
Girl, you had better handle this situation very carefully. You don’t want to ruin a good friendship.
Let Auntie get right to the point: Don’t go blabbing about what you know about this ou. Listen, honey, it’s been years since you saw what he did, and for all you know he actually has changed. On the other hand, maybe he is a two-faced dirty junkie.
So here’s what you need to do: Talk to the boyfriend first.
Don’t be bedonnerd and skel him from left to right. Be calm and get your facts straight. Talk to him alone, and ask him reg uit if he remembers that you two actually met years ago.
Tell him you know about his past, but reassure him that you are not here to bust him, just that you are concerned for your friend. Ask him if he has told your friend about his maniere from the past, and if he is still such a party animal.
If he is open and honest with you, let it be. But if you doubt that he is telling you the truth, it might be a good idea to speak to your friend as well.
She is looking at him and the world through “love goggles”, so she probably won’t want to hear anything negative about her berk. Keep calm, and assure her as well that you are not trying to cause trouble. She needs to understand that your concern comes from a good place.
If they tell you to voetsek, let it lie. This is not your relationship, and in the end you can only do your part.