Q
Dear Auntie Pearl, I am widowed but dating this guy for almost a year.
We are engaged for a few months now.
I kind of feel I am not ready to get married, but he is very sure.
He was never married before.
The problem is, he stays over weekends but never contributes to any food or anything we need in the household.
Is there something I don’t see in him?
I cook, clean and put his lunch in on my expenses.
What seems to be the problem on his side? I have mentioned it a few times and he always says he won’t do it now, but one day.
Please help.
From B.
A
Girl, you came to Auntie just in time, thank goodness!
If you do not feel ready to get married, you should not get married.
This guy of yours needs to understand and respect your choice and feelings, because if he does not, then he is sure as hell not the right man for you.
Auntie can understand you are probably careful, considering you have lost a husband and don’t want to endure such heartache again.
Just don’t let this get in the way of finding happiness again whether with your current berk or someone else in the future.
That said, this guy doesn’t sound like a good future husband for you.
Almal moet mos contribute to the household.
You are not even married yet and he is already sponging off you, can you imagine how bad it can get once you have a ring on your finger and you two are legally bound?
Auntie doesn’t know what you don’t see in him, but what you clearly are seeing is someone who is lacking in common sense.
Clearly, he is not all the man you want him to be.
You have to give him an ultimatum: he needs to show you he will contribute to the relationship on ALL levels, or he needs to pack his bags and go.
So the next time he tells you he will contribute “not now but one day”, then you tell him you will marry him “not now but one day”.