Q
Dear Pearl, my daddy passed away six months ago, and it’s been really hard without him emotionally, you know.
I’ve had my bad days, but it’s been months and I feel like I should not be upset about it anymore.
How can I not be sad about this anymore, I want to move on.
From Benjamin
A
My sweet Benjamin, let Auntie tell you that there is no timetable to get over the loss of a loved one, especially a parent.
Your father died only six months ago, that’s not long at all!
It’s totally understandable that you are still upset and hartseer.
Everybody has their own way of dealing with grief, and everybody takes their own amount of time to work through the sadness.
You have the right to be upset and sad for six months, or a year, or six years.
It is normal for people to go through stages of intense sadness followed by periods of feeling better and then feeling sad again.
Memories can bring back the hartseer. You miss your father, and that is understandable.
Auntie suggests that if you feel the sadness is getting too much for you, speak to someone who can give emotional support, a relative, teacher, counsellor, priest or imam.