ABUSE: Ou must get own lawyer

Q Dear Auntie Pearl, its Pacco here. I don’t know who to turn to for help.

I’ve been in an abusive relationship with a narcissist.

I’m currently unemployed, but my mum is helping me with giving her money for maintenance.

My ex and I had a fight in my room and now she is keeping the kids away from me. 

I’m afraid of her. She crazy. 

I was physically and mentally abused. 

Her husband now also wants to involve himself. 

I miss my kids, Auntie. I don’t know what to do.

At court she makes me look bad. She is a good actor. 

The way she talks they believe her. 

Please, Auntie, help me.

A Good grief Pacco, what a drama! 

What an unfortunate situation you are finding yourself in, yoh! 

Now Auntie skeem the most important thing to do is to try and stay calm.

Auntie knows you probably want to smash something, but believe me, when you are calm, you can think straight and rise above this situation and this versinde ex of yours. 

This is really a deurmekaar story with lots of people and emotions involved, and Auntie’s sure everyone has their own version of the “truth”.

So here’s what Antie skeem:

You need to find a job Pacco because if you have a job, you will be in a financial position to pay your own way when it comes to maintenance and this will make you look good for the court – that is, being a stable and capable father to your laaities. 

If you want to have your children you need a job, and security and the court need to see you as a fit parent, and possibly a more fit parent than your baby mama. 

You are clearly in court often so there must be a reason. 

Do you have your own lawyer fighting for your rights as a father? 

You mentioned she makes you look bad in court, hartjie, so you need a good lawyer. 

If not, please contact these lawyers who can help you: ProBono, 57 Strand Street in Cape Town, phone number 087 806 6070/1/2. LegalAid SA, whom you can call on the toll-free line 0800 110 110, or send a Please Call Me to  079 835 7179.

You can also contact Divorce Attorney Cape Town for legal advice on divorce, marriage disputes, prenuptial agreement, child custody and much more: Cape Town Radio House, 92 Loop Street, or 24 Edinburgh Drive, Bishops-court, Cape Town. Or phone 021 439 5208. Auntie skeem you need proper legal advice and representation, hartjie.

Now Pacco, it breaks Auntie’s heart when you talk about the physical and mental abuse you suffer under this woman. 

Domestic violence is a major social issue and while everyone always talks about women getting beaten up, this also happens to men.

In fact, domestic violence against men is becoming more and more common. Worldwide statistics indicate that up to one in three victims of abuse are, in fact, men. 

Famsa has counselling options which you could benefit from, Pacco. 

Their head office is in Observatory, phone 072 144 7017 or 082 231 4470 for an appointment. Too far? They also have offices n Khayelitsha, Mitchells Plain, Elsiesriver and Du Noon. 

Keep your head up, dear Pacco, things will get better.