Q DEAR Auntie, I need some career advice… sort of. I’ve been lucky enough to get a contract job for the past couple of months, and I love the place. Everyone is great, from my co-workers to the boss!
The laanie has even told me that after my 12 months are done, I will receive a full-time offer!
I want to be prepared for the big day, as there obviously has to be a sort of interview. I’m pretty confident, but one thing still bothers me: the salary.
Do you think it would be OK if I asked my colleagues what they are getting paid?
From Mr Working It
A Mr Working It, please tell Auntie you have not followed through on your ‘snooping’ for information. Because let Auntie tell you now, talking about money with your colleagues is not a good idea. Especially if you are not even a full-time worker.
Go look on the internet and do a bit of research to see what someone with your qualifications and experience can expect to get paid in the private sector.
Or if you can find a former employee of the company, ask them.
But your co-workers? Hayibo! Don’t go there boeta! You will open a can of worms and everyone will hate you for it.
You must realise that each employee have a unique relationship with the boss, and people also come with different levels of qualifications and experience and of course salary expectations, which are usually tailored to them.
The best thing you can do is speak to the boss himself and tell him what your salary expectations are, especially if you have gained some valuable experience.
Q Dear Auntie Pearl. I’m in love with a wonderful man – we laugh lekker, talk about everything, and support each other.
We are so close. We watch movies, hold hands, get warm onder die komberse, everything.
Auntie, this guy is the one who really understands me. But as you can guess, not everything is perfect. He wants to get hitched. I said no. I feel marriage is a death sentence, a path to a life without happiness or sex.
My chest sommer tightens just thinking about it.
And before you ask, no, this has nothing to do with my own parents.
They are still married and all that jazz.
Also, I’m not just keeping my options open in case something else comes along. I want to be with this man… I just don’t want to get married.
What to do? I don’t want to imagine a life without him, but I also can’t see a life where we are married. Please help.
From Don’t Want A Ring On It
A Jinne meisie, don’t get so opgewerk so early in the year.
Calm down before you give yourself a heart attack from all the stress.
From what it sounds like to Auntie, you don’t have a real problem.
You have a guy who smaaks you and makes you happy.
So he asked to marry you, and you don’t want to. So what? Marriage is not for everyone.
It’s an institution invented by people long ago. But the world has changed.
Unless he is a very traditional man, or part of a traditional and strict family, you mos don’t need to tie the knot to be together.
As always, Auntie’s main advice is that you communicate with him.
Have you explained to him that you want to be with him, but just don’t want to make it “official” in the eyes of the world?
You mos don’t need a piece of paper to be with someone.
Go talk to your man, and if he is as kwaai as you make him out to be, he should be fine with your choice.
Maybe instead of a wedding, you can discuss doing something like a commitment ceremony. This is when two people commit their lives to one another – it is similar to a wedding, but it does not result in a legally binding marriage in the eyes of the law.
Q Hey there Auntie P. I have a friend who recently died in an accident. It is tragic and all, but I know that at the time of his death he had three girlfriends.
They don’t know about each other.
The one was even at the funeral. The second meisie couldn’t make it and the third one is from another province.
The biggest mess is that the third girl posted on social media that she is pregnant and is going to name the baby after him!
I used to be very close to the guy who died, but for a while now I have distanced myself from him because of his jolling around.
The people who are still close with him seem to want to keep it a secret.
Should I reach out to these girls? Or should I just let it go? I just feel if it was me, I’d want to know.
A Good grief, can you believe that cheating can even cause a mess after a person has died?
You know what, for this one, Auntie is going to say you should leave this to the people who were close to the deceased, and these girls, at the time of his death.
The jolling happened, the damage is done, he is gone and nothing is going to change that.