Q Dear Auntie Pearl, I am 27 years old and my whole life I thought I was straight. I love women.
Then one night at the end of last year we had an office jol and after the party I went home with one of the brasse for more drinks and to play XBox.
He’s also straight. We don’t have girlfriends. We were already lekker dronk.
We drank more and played and before we knew it, we were kissing.
We were embarrassed about it in the morning, I slept over but nothing more happened.
We’ve had a few of these nights now – me going over to play XBox and drink and then we kiss and I sleep over.
I’m so confused. Not sure if I am gay, straight, bi or what, and we are both too embarrassed to talk about it, and we have too much fun kissing.
From Confused Calvern.
A Jinne, Auntie wil nou nie rain op jou parade nie, but maybe you two should stop kissing for long enough to actually have a conversation about what is happening between you two.
You really need to talk!
At the same time, Auntie wants to tell you it really doesn’t matter whether you two are gay or straight, bi or just having fun.
You two are playing around and experimenting, and as long as you are both happy with that and it’s consensual, then Auntie can see no harm in it.
The fact that you work together might cause some unwanted issues in future.
Will you still be able to work lekker saam if things don’t work out?
Think about that when you have your conversation, so stop vrying and start talking, boeta.
One gesuipte kiss is easy to explain away, but you two have been seeking out each other’s company, meeting up knowing full well what you both want, and although there hasn’t been any sex or other things by the sound of it, it’s a lot of kissing and cuddling and sleepovers for “just brasse”.
Auntie feels there is no urgent need to figure out your sexuality, but rather figure out where this is leading, so you don’t hurt each other.