Q Dear Auntie Pearl, I’m D from Wesbank.
The problem is I love my best friend.
She has a boyfriend and I told her that I’m in love with her.
What must I do for her to see that I am serious about her?
A Haai jinne D, what a dangerous dilemma, my darling!
Being in love with your BFF can be heaven or hell - in your case it’s hell, sweetie pie - purely because she’s got a berk and from your letter it doesn’t sound like she had a positive reaction when you proclaimed your love to her.
But can you really blame her?
Firstly this came out of the blue for her, she’s got a berk, she thought you were just tjommas, and here you are tuning her she’s your one and only.
It’s only natural for a girl to be a little freaked out.
So what could you possibly do or show to make her realise you love her?
Before we get there D, are you absolutely sure you want a romantic relationship with your best friend? How is this going to change your current relationship?
And are you willing to potentially lose your friendship if things don’t work out between you as lovers?
Are you sure it’s not just a case of wanting something you can’t have?
Auntie skeem it would be good to think long and hard about these things before you take the next step.
Also, this boyfriend of hers - how long has he been in the picture, and how serious are they as a couple?
If this is a long-term serious berk she probably won’t just drop him for you, D.
So you can stand on your head and whistle ‘I love you’ through your hol, but if she’s going steady with her stuk and she’s not ready to move on and consider you as a potential partner and lover, then it really won’t matter.
That’s why auntie said you need to be careful and weigh up your options. Are you willing to lose her as a friend if things don’t work out like you want them to?
If you continue to make serious declarations of love to her, maybe she will become irritated and uncomfortable with you and tell you to voetsek.
It has happened before. And it would be very sad if it happens to you.
So D, depending on how close you are and how the vibes are between the two of you now that she knows how you feel, ask her out for a drink and talk seriously, and honestly, about your feelings.
And remember, respect her wishes - if she tells you she doesn’t see you that way, and only wants to be your friend, you must accept that and move on.