Q
Hi there Auntie, please share with me some of your pearls of wisdom because I don’t know what to think.
I have been reading the Daily Voice and your column for many years, thank you.
Here’s my problem: I am almost 60 and I have a close friend who is two years younger than me.
We were never romantically bymekaar, and she was married.
Her hubby died eight months ago.
We have known each other for very long and I think I have feelings for her that is more than friends.
And I think she feels the same about me.
We spend a lot of time together and I have now hinted that I would like to take her on a date.
I was very careful to be clear to her that she must tell me if it’s too soon.
She said she is ready for a new love life.
Auntie, it was so good to hear, but I’m still not sure if the time is too soon or right and if I should get involved.
From Blackie
A
Now Auntie doesn’t want to stand in the way of a new relationship, but you have to be very careful Blackie.
It’s good to hear that you want to take it slow and that you are versigtig.
When a person loses somebody, they need time to heal.
When it’s someone close like a family member or spouse, there’s no telling how much time they need.
This close friend of yours has been through a rough time, and there is a hole in her life where her hubby used to be.
Auntie is not saying that she is trying to fill that void with anyone who is there for her, in this case you, but it can be.
Sy soek obviously liefde!
You have to make sure that she is not using you as a placeholder while she works through her grief and loss.
All Auntie can advise is that you don’t move too fast. Soos hulle sê: Fools rush in.
It’s only been eight months since she lost her hubby and Auntie would actually think that it takes at least a year to readjust her life and so on.
Be a friend for her first. Take it slowly and discover if you really are wanting the same things.