Q
Dear Auntie Pearl, I have a problem. I am a teenager and about two to three years ago I become an atheist.
The thing is I don’t know how my religious family will accept me.
In my old religion atheism is considered the biggest sin and I think I will be seen as the odd one out.
The problem is, I don’t believe in the rituals which my family partake in, I only do it because I don’t want to make it obvious by rebelling, but I feel like a hypocrite.
What does Auntie think? Tell them when I am older or keep it in till the end of time?
Please don’t share my identity just in case one of my family members sees this.
Thank you.
A
Shame sweetie, you are in a pickle soos hulle sê.
And so dramatic as well, “keep it till the end of time”? Sjoe.
Now the thing is skattie, Auntie, needs to know are you living with your parents or family?
Auntie believes if you are living under your parents’ roof and you are under 18 years old you should respect them enough to do as they wish and so forth nuh.
But if you are working, taking care of yourself, living on your own, and you’re over 18 years old that means you are a grown up and should be true to yourself.
Although that doesn’t mean to be disrespectful to your parents, it just means they now have to respect the path you want to follow in life.
You can be an atheist and not rub it into the faces of your religious family members by still being respectful towards their religious beliefs and rituals.
You need to be adult about this hartjie, and there’s no reason you can’t all still love one another, spend time together, celebrate together, and be a family – beliefs should not divide a family or any relationship.
If you want to, you can write to Auntie again and give a bietjie more context to your specific situation, or you can also talk to the mense at LifeLine – anyone experiencing a personal crisis can contact LifeLine.
There are trained counsellors available to listen, support and refer you to more help.
There are a few ways you can get in touch with these kinds people, for telephone counselling phone 021 461 1111 from 9.30 am to 10 pm, or WhatsApp Call 063 709 2620 from 10 am to 2 pm – 365 days of the year!