Q
Hi Auntie, can you please help with this thing between me and my mommy.
I am in my 30s and I feel like our relationship is not what it should be.
It always seems to me that she loves my brother more than me.
I feel like things with my mom went sour 15 years ago when I messed up badly.
I got into big trouble and I don’t think she’s ever forgiven me.
Auntie, I’ve been a good girl for many years now and I have a steady job and a family.
How can I reforge a relationship with my mother?
It upsets me that we are not lekker.
From Shannon
A
Shame, hartjie, it must be so hard feeling that your mommy is still kwaad and that she doesn’t love you as much as your brother.
We mos all want a good relationship with our mom.
Have you spoken about this to your mother?
It could be that all of this talk of being the black sheep is just in your head.
Auntie suggests you rather focus your energy on rebuilding the bond with your mother.
You are never going to have the relationship you want if you are constantly obsessing about which of her children your mother loves more.
A mother can’t have the exact same relationship with all her children.
You have to build your own, unique connection with your mammie, but you have to let go of the past.