Q
Dear Pearl, my friend is going to marry a loslappie.
You see Auntie, I know that in the past five years his fiancée has been in bed with at least six guys in our circle of friends. Should we tell him?
I also had my turn with that geitjie, but before you judge, let me just tell you what happened.
It was in 2016 and I was in a bad space because I had just lost my job.
My brasse took me out to a house party and I got gesuip.
I am not proud of it, but life was just so k** at that time.
Anyway, this girl was making moves on me, and while we were walking outside to get some fresh air, I stumbled and fell in the garden.
She was on top of me in a second and we had vuil sex sommer right there.
Later, I discovered that there was also R50 missing from my wallet… I can’t prove that she took it, maar dit voel so of sy my geld ge-ses het vir haar“service”.
Anyway, she also had a threesome with two of my other friends, and the other guys say she screwed them in the toilets at clubs.
Now we all still hang together, but nobody talks about this morsige past.
Our friend thinks she is the best thing since sliced bread.
They are planning to get married later this year, but I think he is making a mistake.
People are telling me I should talk to him, maar is dit die regte ding om te doen?
He looks happier than I have ever seen him, even though I think he deserves someone better.
From Ben B
A
Listen Ben, you and your brasse may not care for your friend’s new stukkie, but if he’s so crazy about her, Auntie can’t see him being happy with you dissing her.
The fact is, he thinks she’s kwaai and that’s all that matters. Whether you think she is a geitjie and a skelm does not matter.
He surely knows about her past, maybe even including with you, because Auntie is sure you boys have been talking among each other.
Guys mos like to brag about their “conquests”. Don’t tell Auntie your group of guy friends don’t tell each other when you “scored”.
You need to give her the benefit of the doubt and accept that she made mistakes in the past, just like all of us had.
Jy ook Ben, don’t tell Auntie just because you were dronk and depressed you could not resist her advances.
Maybe she has cleaned up her act and changed.
So you just be as friendly towards her as you can manage – even if it’s just for the sake of your friend.
Daai girl lyk dalk vir jou soos moeilikheid, but maybe your friend likes that.
As long as she stays faithful to him, what’s wrong with him dating a girl who is a little wild.
Of course, if you ever catch her making moves on another guy, or worse, hearing that she is up to her vuil club toilet maniere, then you have to tell him.
The fact is that all relationships are complex, tricky and often people outside the relationship do not understand it.
If your friend ever tells you he is worried about his girl, then you can tell him.
But for now, keep your nose out of his business.