Q
Dear Auntie Pearl, I feel so bad because I had a fling with my boyfriend’s dad, let’s call him Jerry.
It all started because I used to work at the same company as Jerry – he was a senior staff member and I was maar fresh out of school.
Auntie kan seker already see where this is going.
I was young and wild, and did not make a lot of money.
Just being able to pay rent for my small room was sometimes tough.
Jerry took me out for meals, bought me gifts, and even gave me money when I was in trouble.
Ja, it’s like what they call a “blesser” I suppose. Or sugar daddy.
I had a lot of fun with Jerry. But I broke it off (I changed jobs), and now I am dating a kwaai guy.
Everything is perfect, except for Jerry.
He pretends he doesn’t know me, and my boyfriend has no idea that his dad and I used to be bymekaar.
My sister insists I must dump my boyfriend. She knows about the whole thing, obviously.
But why should I do this? My berk is great and the past has nothing to do with him.
I am in love with him, and he keeps talking about our future together.
Would it be best if I came clean about everything in my past, including sex with his father?
From Lila.
A
Ooh jinne girl, this is a tough one.
Even though Auntie would always suggest playing open cards with a guy you are getting serious with, this matter is between you and your conscience.
If you are one of those people who sticks to always telling the truth, then you have to suck it up and tell your boyfriend about what happened between you and his dad.
Dit gaan rof wees, but maybe he deserves to know before he gets more serious.
Be ready for some consequences – either your berk dumps you on the spot, or he forgives you.
Then there is also the situation between him and his father.
Daai is anyways a complicated relationship, and now a woman is thrown in the mix.
If you tell your boyfriend about you and his father, you risk blowing his whole family sky high.
Yoh! And what about his poor mother, now she will have to deal with the fact that her hubby is a joller.
En nogal with her son’s stukkie. Do you think she’ll ever forgive you?
The other side of the coin is that your boyfriend forgives you, thanks you for your honesty, and accepts you mistakes and all.
Lila, you know these people best, it’s up to you to make the call.
Auntie suggests you take your time and think it through. Don’t act hastily.
Let Auntie leave you with this last thought: Can you start a serious relationship with a massive secret hanging over you?