Q
Hi Auntie Pearl, I am writing to you because I am gatvol of the way that my hubby ruins Christmas. It happens every year, and the end of last year was no exception.
It’s not what you might think. He does not get dronk and abusive or anything like that. It’s that he gets moerig and kwaai with me days before already.
We seem to end up fighting most of the time. It’s terrible, and I can see our children also do not like the vibe.
Could it be that he does not actually like spending time with our family? You see Auntie, this is the only time of the year he has a break from work, and he is home more than usual.
I do not want to spend another year dreading the festive season that is coming closer and closer. I can’t handle it, and it has even gone so far that I have thought about packing my bags and gooiing a lange.
Do you have any advice, please?
From Coleen
A
Dear Coleen, let Auntie tell you straight that Christmas time is stressful for many people, especially couples. It’s not uncommon at all to raak ’n bietjie mal and get into more arguments.
It’s like you say, skielik you are all together for more time than usual, and Auntie can only guess that there are relatives around as well some of the time.
It’s a pressure-cooker situation!
And on top of that is ’n mens nog moeg van die lang jaa r. Now he has some time off, and what has to happen? All these festive celebrations and meals and get-togethers and family.
’n Man wil mos nie werk op sy af dag nie!
Auntie suggests you try and find out why he is so omgekrap this time of year. Don’t wait until the end of the year, do it now, while things are “normal”.
A good idea would be to do something different this year. Maybe go away and spend the holidays alone with the kids, no family. Ask him what he would like to do.
Maar as daar groter gemorsis in the marriage, you have to find out what it is and he needs to open up about it. Don’t pressure him too hard into talking all at once, you have the whole year to figure it out. Avoid getting into a bekgeveg; it will not solve anything.