Q
Dear Auntie Pearl, I am busy with a divorce.
My husband left the house five months ago to live with his girlfriend and I have been alone for so long.
Now I am chatting with a man over the phone and he wants to meet me on Valentine’s Day.
We met online. Do you think it is right of me to do that?
A
Darling, if it feels right, go for it.
You don’t need Auntie, anybody’s permission. You are your own woman! It must be tough starting off a new year with a divorce.
On the other hand, good riddance to bad rubbish, and as they say, new year, new you.
Almost single, and ready to mingle!
But your love life aside, this is a chance for you to really redefine who you are and be true to yourself.
It sounds like you’ve been through hell and back with this husband of yours and that getting divorced is the best thing that could happen to you.
Also, your hubby is a real piece of work, soema moving in with his goose while legally still being married to you.
Don’t make the same mistake.
Although it’s kwaai that you are not scared to get back out there and see what fish are available in the sea, it’s never a good idea to jump directly from one relationship to the next.
You need some time to just be you, find out what you want from love and life and also what you do NOT want.
You have to get used to the idea of your marriage being over, and if you just move from one man to the next, you won’t have time to heal, grow and learn.
Chatting to an outjie you met online and making plans to meet with him on Valentine’s Day is one thing, but to just jump from a failed marriage into a new relationship is asking for trouble.
Auntie suggests chatting to this new stukkie, get to know him, meet him next month if you want to, keep it light, keep it fun; but check yourself before you wreck yourself, meisie.