Q Dear Auntie Pearl, I am in a very uncomfortable situation with a guy at church. This isn’t just some member of the church, he is actually a deacon.
We are friends and do a lot of volunteer work together.
The trouble started about a month ago when I fell and he helped treat the wounds. He told me I had “smooth skin” and that I feel “so soft”.
I was in pain and didn’t think anything of it, but a few days later he made the same comments.
Auntie, then it got worse, a week later he sent me a message that asked if I ever thought of becoming a “geisha” and helping men with their sexual problems.
He said I would be good because I have such a sexy body. I was shocked and very uncomfortable and I told him so in a message. It’s been almost two weeks and he has not responded.
Auntie, I am much younger than he is and never indicated to him I want anything more than friendship.
He actually has a sexual dysfunction. Do you think this is a cry for help, or is he being creepy?
A Meisie, this is not on. It’s disgusting for that man to say those things to you. Auntie sommer wants to say you should go to the police, but maybe first go to the church elders or board and tell them what this “deacon” has done.
That man is sexually harassing you!
Because let Auntie tell you one thing: That vark is not going to stop just because you are asking him nicely.
Tuning him his comments make you uncomfortable gets him off. It’s a power play.
Don’t try and get anywhere with him yourself, go to the church leader. Tell them his behaviour is unacceptable.
You can even show them the messages, just to make it clear there is no misunderstanding.
At the very least, he needs to be removed from his volunteer position. If he stays there, who knows how many other women he is going to harass?
If the church does not want to take action, Auntie suggests you find yourself another spiritual home where women are respected.
And if you ever see this guy again and he says anything out of line, or if he messages you, you go straight to the police!