Q Hi there Auntie Pearl.
I am a 52-year-young widower who has recently jumped back into the dating world.
A friend of mine introduced me to someone, I’m just gonna call her “Sharné”. She is a bit younger than me.
We have gone on a couple of dates and it was kwaai, but I kept having this gevoel that there’s something familiar about her.
Then I went on her Facebook page (as you mos know we all do) and you won’t believe what I found!
Check it, Auntie, when I was in my 20s I had a thing with an older woman, let’s call her “Lauren”. It was lekker and we had lots of “fun”, but the age difference was just too much and in the end we broke it off.
We decided never to tell anyone about it, because a young dude chising an older vrou was not really accepted back in the day.
Don’t worry, this is not going where you think, Sharné is not my long lost daughter that I never knew of.
What I saw on Sharné’s Facebook page was a memorial for Lauren.
It turns out Sharné is Lauren’s daughter.
Auntie, ek weetie wat om te doen nie!
Should I tell Sharné about my thing with her mother?
I’m feeling moerse awkward about all of this now and I’m not sure what to do.
A Sjoe Jerome, for a moment there you had Auntie worried that this is going to be some weird soapie plot where it turns out you are bymekaar with a daughter you never knew of.
Whew, we’re all very glad that didn’t happen!
But this is still a very awkward situation. Seems there is something about that family’s women that revs your engine!
Jokes aside, Auntie’s advice is simple: Just give it a bietjie time before you tell Sharné.
Here’s the deal: If you and Sharné go on a couple of dates, have a bit of fun, but realise things are not going to work out, she really doesn’t need to know about her mom’s affairs from decades ago.
This way you respect the fact that Lauren kept your relationship a secret and wouldn’t want Sharné to know.
But if things go well and start getting more serious, you have to be honest with her.
You don’t want the burden of carrying around this secret.
You are going to have to trust your gut about when the best time is to reveal your past.