Q Dear Auntie Pearl, I am 18 years old and I will hopefully finish school now.
I don’t have a lot of problems but I am really embarrassed about this one problem I have – I am still a virgin. And it’s really killing me, honestly speaking.
All of my friends have done it, and I haven’t. At the moment I really don’t have anyone to do it with, and don’t really want to just do it with anyone. I’m like the most boring girl in the world.
But I also can’t be out of school and not have done it.
This is making me stress.
From Stressed about Sex.
A Listen up, meisiekind, and listen up really good. You should never feel under pressure to have sex, unless you are certain you are ready.
And being a virgin, whatever your age, is nothing to be embarrassed about.
It’s mos not just something to get rid of like some old sweater in the back of your closet you don’t smaak anymore.
It’s not something to tick off a to-do list or that you should have done by a certain age.
And so bleddie what if all your tjommies have had sex!
If they all start smoking tik, will you do it as well? If they all jump off a cliff, will you do it as well?
You will know when you are ready, and when you have the right person, then you can do it.
To just go and do it because you think you should be doing it is mos versin.
And you might not think so now hartjie, but there is way more to life than having sex and knowing who’s a virgin and who’s not.
The more important conversation is about how to protect yourself during sex – and now Auntie’s talking about protection from disease, but also from abuse.
You must never get yourself into a situation where you feel you are forced to have sex or where you cannot speak up.
Remember, no is no. Always. And no glove, no love.
When it is time and you are ready to start having sex, safe sex is the ONLY kind of sex you can and should have meisie – so always use a condom!
And don’t just skeem the bra will sort it out and bring a condom along to the jol – be responsible for your own protection and safety and carry a condom.
You are a responsible young woman who has to keep herself safe and carry her own protection – seeing as you are itching to go!
For now, focus on getting your matric results and making plans for next year – the love, sex and alles wat daarmee saamgaan, that will all come and fall in place.