They don’t make Aussie cricketers like they used to.
Remember the days of Merv Hughes, Shane Warne, Glenn McGrath, the Waugh brothers and Ricky Ponting?
They were legends on the pitch, fierce competitors, but it wasn’t just their cricket that did the talking.
The Aussies’ not-so-secret weapon was their knack of psyching out opposition players.
They would get under the skin and in the faces of opponents with their merciless taunting.
They were masters of sledging, some of the best/worst recorded chirps have involved Aussies.
Fast bowler McGrath once asked Ramnaresh Sarwan: “What does Brian Lara’s d*** taste like?”
To which the West Indies batsman replied: “I don’t know, ask your wife.”
Aussie Rod Marsh once politely asked Ian Botham: “How’s your wife and MY kids?”
“The wife’s fine, the kids are retarded, though,” retorted the Pom all-rounder.
True stories. Back then it was fair play, all part of the “Gentleman’s Game”.
The men from Down Under always bring out the worst in our mild-mannered Proteas.
Any other cricketing nation and we’ll be on our best behaviour, but against Oz, they bring out the skollie in our schoolboys.
The current tour of SA has been one of the most controversial between the bitter rivals.
The sparks started flying when Quinton de Kock and David Warner got into a scuffle in the tunnel, and the incident was caught on video.
It’s been reported that Quinny had been called a “bush pig” and “f***ing sook” by the Aussies.
Warner was fined R160 000 and handed three demerit points. De Kock was docked 25% of his match fee and given one demerit point.
But apparently what happened on the pitch - and you didn’t hear this from Munier - was that while Quinny was batting, Warner had chirped: “De Kock, his name sounds like c***”.
No shrinking violet, De Kock passed a comment about Warner’s wife and Sonny Bill Williams’ dinges. (The New Zealand rugby star and Candice Warner were reportedly involved in a public toilet sex scandal back in 2007).
If all of this is true, it looks like a case of Warner simply being out-chirped by De Kock.
There were a few more nasty on-field incidents, another flashpoint leading to Kagiso Rabada’s suspension.
CHIRP: Sarwan, McGrath
The fiery fast bowler was cited for brushing Steve Smith’s shoulder as he passed him after dismissing the Aussie captain in the second Test.
He was found guilty of “inappropriate and deliberate physical contact with a player” and was fined 50% and banned for the rest of the Test series.
Now, come on. You would expect this kind of diva drama from Cristiano Ronaldo in the Champions League, not the harregat Aussies.
The second Test in PE started off on a sour note, with umpires asking the boisterous St George’s Park brass band to pipe down.
And SA cricket fans were asked not to taunt Warner by wearing Sonny Bill masks.
Cricket South Africa said it “respects the rights of fans to represent their own points of view... but urges Proteas supporters to refrain from being involved in distasteful or unwelcome actions that may impact the image of the sport...”
Huh? So fans can turn up wearing fake Hashim Amla beards - because it’s in support of a player - but not masks if it’s insensitive to a cricketer?
Shouldn’t spectators be allowed to express themselves? Isn’t that part and parcel of any sport?
CSA president Chris Nenzani also extended his “sincere apologies” to the Australian cricket board, the team and their families.
Ag shame.
Now SA players and fans are being asked to respect “the spirit of the game” because of the poor, sensitive Aussies.
Gimme a break.
Look, Munier is not advocating hooligan behaviour.
What this series has once again underlined is that the “Gentleman’s Game” is badly in need of a clean-up.
And maybe it is a good thing the International Cricket Council is clamping down on varkerige maniere.
But honestly, shouldn’t they start with our dear friends, the Aussies?